Sometimes I have so much I want to do that I can’t wait all week for my day off. And then the day comes and I can’t pick what to do, so I don’t do any of those things… because deciding is too hard and starting is even harder.
These words from another woman with ADHD really resonated with me. They perfectly capture a struggle that many of us know well.
Deciding Is Hard; Starting is Harder
One of the hallmarks of ADHD is having many varied interests and hobbies. This can be a superpower: it can help us build a diverse skill-set, gives us many outlets for our creativity and energy, and keeps life interesting.
It can also trigger some of the common challenges that come with ADHD: overwhelm and paralysis.
Deciding is too hard and starting is even harder.
This one sentence is the essence of ADHD.
When you have so many things you want to do, picking just one can lead to decision fatigue and drain executive function, leading you to do nothing.
This is why routines and rituals are so crucial for those of us who have ADHD. Anything that takes us out of decision-mode will help preserve executive function.
The Power of Deciding in Advance
I have found that deciding on my activities in advance is crucial.
Without advance decision on what I’m going to do, and when and where I’ll do it, I drain all energy and executive function on deciding, so that once I’ve decided I have no more energy to act.
At the heart of my commitment to my daily rituals and routines is this belief:
Anything we can do to remove decisions at the time of action will free up energy to actually take action.
How to Get Out of Decision Paralysis to Work on Your Favorite Projects
It’s much easier to start a project when we feel like we already have some momentum towards it.
Here’s a framework to help you get started on your projects and build some momentum, even if you only have a few hours once a week.
The Framework is based on a 4-week cycle, and you can start at any time.
Week 1: Set Up Success
(1) Limit Your Options
Make a list of FOUR projects or hobbies you want to work on on your day off.
You may have many more than four, but limit yourself to four for now. This limits your options heading to step 2, which makes the decision process more manageable.
(2) Decide
Pick ONE of those four projects to work on this week on your day off.
Making the decision in advance allows you to replenish executive function before you have to implement.
(3) Commit
Schedule the project in your calendar for a block of time on your day off, and commit to working on it at that time.
The block of time can be as long or as short as you want, but make it realistic for getting some traction. Also make sure to plan where you’re going to work on this project.
(4) Show Up
At the designated time, show up and commit yourself to the full block of time.
You’ve blocked the time in advance, so there’s no more deciding. Treat this like an appointment with someone who you’ve been wanting to see and whose time is limited and valuable. That person is you.
(5) Note Your Progress
When your time block ends, note what you did and where you left off. Record your progress and where you left off as if you were going to hand off the project to someone else. This will help remind Future You of the momentum you generated, and will make it easier to pick up where you left off.
Weeks 2–4: Continue Momentum
When you plan your day off for the next week, you have the option:
- Stay with the same project, continuing where you left off in week 1; OR
- Pick a new project from your original list of four.
Follow steps 3–5 above.
In this way, you will either cycle through four projects each month, or end up working on 1–2 of those projects each month. Either way, you’ll make some progress on those hobbies and projects you love to work on, which will make you feel better about yourself.
Make a rule for yourself that you can’t alter the list for a month. After the month is over, you can swap out a project or completely revamp the list, but you cannot have more than four projects on the list at any one time.
Why This Works
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t finding things we want to do — it’s breaking through the paralysis of having too many options. By limiting our choices and committing to a defined and manageable period of time, we get to preserve all of our hobbies for the long term even if we restrict ourselves in the short term.
By deciding in advance, we separate decision and implementation, preserving the energy we need to actually take action.
Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.
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