What happens when your ambition or vision bumps up against the reality of your limited resources–time, money, attention, focus, or cognitive bandwidth–or external constraints?
For the past four weeks, I’ve been navigating life without one of my ADHD medications.
The situation has thrown my sleep, appetite, and “normal” energy rhythms into disarray, to say nothing of my focus, attention, and cognitive function.
It’s put a spotlight on a familiar inner conflict:
My optimistic (albeit often unrealistic) agenda is exceeded only by the size of my ambition: I have a big vision, strong purpose, and high desire to succeed.
On the other hand, I keep bumping up against some very hard limits regarding my current capacity or about what’s possible in any given time block, day, or week.
And it’s not just me.
This tension between big desire and hard limits is showing up for my clients, too.
For example, one client is eager to return to CrossFit after time away to heal from injuries. She loves the competitive nature of it but knows her body can no longer handle the same intensity it once could.
Her work is the inner work of respecting her body’s new limits when surrounded by peers whose bodies are in their prime.
Another client has been working on a home project that keeps getting stalled due to zoning regulations, administrative hurdles, and rising costs. Every time he gains some momentum, some new obstacle arises, leaving him questioning whether the project is even worth continuing.
Both of these examples reflect a common dynamic: a strong desire to push forward running into internal or external limits.
How Do You React When Your Desire Meets Constraints?
Often, the answer to this depends on whether you’ve anticipated the obstacles before hitting them.
Even if the obstacles are unexpected, recognizing the bigger pattern can make all the difference in how we respond.
The Value of Knowing What’s Coming
Think about planning a road trip. You’d probably check the traffic reports before setting out and look for any road closures or delays. If you can’t avoid the traffic, at least you’ll know what’s coming and plan accordingly.
In the same way, you likely check the weather forecast if you’re planning an outdoor event. If the forecast calls for rain, you might not cancel the event, but you’d be wise to plan an indoor venue as a contingency plan. If that’s not an option, at least you’ll bring an umbrella.
Life is Seasonal
In life, there are seasons when the sun is shining and the roads are clear: things flow with ease.
And there are rainy seasons – times when we might struggle to get the car started or hit “traffic” on the way to our destination.
It helps to know what’s coming so you can prepare.
The Value of Knowing What’s Happening
Even if you don’t see the storm coming, understanding what’s happening in the moment can provide a bigger-picture context for your experience.
My clients often tell me that simply having an explanation for their challenges helps them approach the moment with more awareness and less frustration.
Knowing that what you’re going through is just temporary–a season, not forever–can be a game-changer.
I’ve found that this can help me be more objective in how I meet the moment and myself.
When we know what’s happening, we are able to meet the moment and ourselves in ways that can be empowering rather than self-defeating.
For example, I’ve been able to meet myself with compassion when I hit my limits or my agenda gets derailed.
TBH, this is everything.
It is especially powerful for those of us with ADHD, as it helps break the cycle of self-blame and shame, freeing up the energy you need to take action.
So many times in the past when I hit my limits or my day hit a snag I’d get so lost in my anger and self-blame that I’d end up in a self-ruminating shame spiral.
That’s an awful place to be, and it’s so counter-productive.
The Current Weather System
My current predicament with my ADHD meds and the situations in which my clients find themselves are all reflective of the current “weather system.”
Although my own situation has been without precedent for me, the larger theme it raises was not completely unexpected.
I knew that this summer – and especially this pocket of time we are in right now – would likely bring challenges that would involve a situation where my ambition and drive bumped up against hard limits, even if I didn’t know exactly how this would show up.
I knew this in the same way that I know that in New York:
- July and August will be hot,
- late summer and early autumn bring hurricane season, and
- heading to the Hamptons from the city on a Friday afternoon is a date with sitting in traffic.
That’s because I knew what I call the “Astro-weather”: the energy that defines a particular quality of time when planets configure in certain alignments.
On a collective level, the planetary alignments of this past week into next week have created an energetic “storm” that can result in a situation where our expanded desire bumps up against the hard limits of reality.
This past week on the blog, I broke down the astrology of it all, in terms of the planets and their significations.
But you don’t need to know anything about that to feel the energy of this moment. Neither of my clients mentioned above knows anything about astrology, but they’re still feeling these energies.
The planets don’t create events. They mirror what is happening.
Another way to think about this is that the planetary alignments pull focus to themes that are often present but may be lurking under the surface.
When we are aware of what is happening, we can work with these issues in a more conscious way.
The Revolutionary Nature of Acceptance
Rather than fighting the reality of the moment, I’ve been learning to accept it and give myself some grace.
Acceptance of the reality of our limitations doesn’t mean we are giving in. It means we aren’t wasting energy trying to fight ourselves.
This isn’t easy for someone with ADHD — in part because fighting is one of the ways we get our much-needed dopamine.
But let me tell you: it’s been nothing short of revolutionary.
Going down the rabbit hole of blame and shame exacts a high cost in terms of energetic resources, which leaves us with little remaining for actually taking action.
Instead ….
In the space created by acceptance, new ideas emerge.
When we stop fighting reality, we allow space for new ideas, insights, and approaches to emerge.
In the space created by self-compassion, forward movement becomes possible.
When we’re wrapped up in self-judgment, paralysis and procrastination inhibit action .
By finding self-compassion, I’ve been able to move forward, even with the smallest steps. Small steps can still create momentum.
In the space created by grace, support becomes possible.
By giving myself grace, I’ve empowered myself to identify, ask for, and receive the support I need.
I’ve found the courage to share my experience more publicly, which has helped both myself and others.
And I’m finding ways to navigate the obstacles.
The Power of Astrological Literacy
All of this has reinforced for me the power of having “astrological literacy.”
Just like you won’t get hit by every hurricane, not every planetary alignment will impact you.
Understanding the “astro-weather forecast” in the context of your own chart lets you see whether – and how – certain moments might impact you.
This is just one reason why I’m so passionate about my upcoming Practical Astrology course.
I want you to feel empowered to recognize your agency in the face of challenges, find self-compassion in difficult moments, and embrace grace through struggles.
What Limits Are You Hitting?
What limits are you hitting – either inner or outer?
I’d love to hear from you about what’s resonating, what questions you have, or what support you need as you navigate this stretch of time.
Share in the comments or reach out for support. I’m here to help.
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