Periodically, I have dreams in which I’m driving in a car and the brakes fail. In the dream, I’m enveloped in complete darkness with no ability to see anything. The car is speeding and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It feels like only a matter of time before I crash into a wall.
This dream depicts a common reality for people with ADHD: the challenge with stopping.
The Challenge With Stopping Action
This is the opposite end of the spectrum from the challenge of task initiation, and they often come together.
Once you get started with a task or project, sometimes you don’t know when to stop, you don’t want to stop, or you can’t stop.
Because momentum can be so hard to generate in the first place, once we have it, we want to ride it for as long as possible — perhaps because it took so long to get going, or we fear that we won’t get the momentum back.
Even if you know it’s prudent to stop, sometimes it can feel impossible to force yourself to stop.
To stick with the metaphor of driving:
If we think of the problem with task initiation as a faulty ignition or a gas pedal that doesn’t work, then the problem with stopping is like having faulty brakes.
This is why it’s a misnomer to say it’s a “motivation” problem. The motivation might be the same in both situations.
The problem is faulty wiring in the mechanics of the vehicle.
The Power of Riding Momentum
Leveraging momentum can be a great thing. It can help stay the course to get something done without having to worry about reigniting the spark we need to begin again.
This approach helped me write every paper in college in an all-nighter. I wrote my senior thesis — over 125 pages — in a 2-week span.
As a lawyer early in my career, all-nighters were commonplace for me anytime I had a big brief due.
The Problem With Riding Momentum For Too Long
The problem with it is that it can be a huge drain on dopamine. It can lead to a spike and crash situation.
My recurring nightmare is very on point: it can feel like you’re flying down the open road but eventually you crash into a wall.
This can set up a situation where it’s harder to generate the spark the next time you need to come back to the activity.
For this reason, over-riding momentum can be especially toxic for activities you need to do consistently, such as workouts and your daily tasks.
If we do too much in any one session, we set up a dynamic that leads to a crash and eventually burnout. We leave feeling depleted and possibly defeated, which makes it hard to come back tomorrow. This will kill your attempts to show up consistently.
To set ourselves up for consistency, we need to stop the car before the brakes fail, or find some way to jump out before the crash.
How do we do this?
The Show Business Rule to Help You Create Consistency
There’s an adage in show business often attributed to PT Barnum and Walt Disney:
Always leave them wanting more.
In show business, this refers to leaving the audience on a high note. Give them something to anticipate next time. Don’t show them all of your best tricks, or tell all of your best jokes.
When it comes to our daily activities, we can apply this to ourselves: End on a high note.
Related: Rest before you feel ready.
Leave something to come back for tomorrow.
Leaving on a high note will help you feel good about what you’ve done, which will lead to positive memories and help you look forward to your next session.
You’re more likely to show up eager to pick up where you left off.
As hard as it can be to leave feeling unfinished, consider what’s undone as your starting point for tomorrow. This gives you a built-in plan that can help you initiate starting energy at your next session.
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