Persistence is often painted as the golden key to unlocking our dreams. We’re taught to push through, never give up, and that quitting is the ultimate sin.
There’s no question that persistence is a valued quality and often a marker of success.
That said, the mantra of relentless pursuit can sometimes do more harm than good.
Banging your head against the wall generally results in a headache and a bruised head.
It also drains frustration tolerance to empty, and can leave us feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and teetering on the edge of burnout.
The alternative approach is counter-intuitive and can feel heretical:
Walk away. Let it rest.
Often, this is easier said than done.
Resistance to Stepping Back
The resistance to stepping back is real. It stems from deeply ingrained and conditioned beliefs that often reside in our subconscious.
Walking away, even briefly, feels like quitting, and we’re wired to believe that quitting equals failure.
It can also feel like procrastination — and if you’re a woman with ADHD you likely already battle with the dreaded P-word.
On top of that is the shame that often accompanies walking away, which can lead us into a spiral of negative beliefs such as:
I couldn’t get it done, again.
I’ll never figure this out.
I’m not smart enough to do this.
I don’t have what it takes.
A Strategic Pause
But here’s the truth: letting something rest doesn’t mean you’re giving up.
Far from it.
Walking away is about acknowledging that our energetic resources are finite and that managing them wisely is key to long-term success and happiness.
For women with ADHD, the decision to “let it rest” is not a sign of weakness, but a bold step towards self-care. It’s an admission that sometimes, the best action is inaction.
In this paradigm, “stepping back” is a strategic pause, a moment of prudence to safeguard our energy and emotional well-being.
Rather than considering “walking away” as a source of shame, we can reframe “stepping back” as a strategic pause: a moment of prudence to safeguard our energy and emotional well-being.
This pause gives us space and distance, which can be incredibly powerful. With a little bit of breathing room, we might find that spark of creativity for a fresh approach.
Or perhaps we’ll come to the realization that a project isn’t worth our time and energy, allowing us to walk away for good—without shame in that decision.
An Act of Courage
Redefining “walking away” as an act of courage rather than a sign of defeat can transform our approach to challenges.
It’s about giving ourselves permission to take the time we need, to refill our wells so we can come back stronger and more inspired than ever.
This isn’t about quitting; it’s about choosing the optimal place to direct our energy most for our well-being and success.
Embrace Rest as a Strategy
One of the lessons I’ve learned from CrossFit is that to “win” a long workout requires going in with a rest strategy.
For example, in a workout with multiple rounds of barbell lifts, it’s often prudent to break up the sets into smaller subsets.
Even if you could do the 10 reps at that weight unbroken, within the context of a workout where you’re doing many rounds of that lift plus other movements, it’s better to split up the 10 from the start.
The people who go in with a rest strategy and stick to it generally outperform those who try to power through.
The same is true outside the gym.
“Letting it rest” is a vital strategy in managing our energy and emotional reserves, especially for women with ADHD.
Stepping back can often be the most forward-thinking move we make.
By creating space for ourselves, we open up to new possibilities, protect our mental health, and, ultimately, pave the way for more meaningful and sustainable achievements.
Let’s let go of the shame associated with walking away and embrace the power of strategic pauses. It’s time for use to recognize that sometimes the most productive thing we can do is nothing at all.
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...