Can you be too flexible?
Many students come to my yoga classes because they want to be “more flexible” and they believe yoga can help with that.
Yoga can help you create flexibility in both mind and body, but that’s not always what you want.
In fact, some people who come to yoga are too flexible.
Yes, you can be too flexible.
The Curse of Flexibility
People who are too flexible in their body lack stability or strength to hold them in place. Hyper-mobility allows joints to move beyond their normal — and safe — range of motion, which can lead to instability, pain, and a higher likelihood of dislocations and other injuries.
People who are too flexible In their mind/temperament are pushovers, people pleasers, or indecisive. They give over to what others want. No integrity. No center. No self.
We often talk about being “self-less” as a virtue and “self-ish” as a “problem,” but consider what the words mean.
Self-less means having no self. What does it mean to have no sense of self?
When you’re too accommodating and too flexible you have no integrity or grounding. You don’t stand for your preferences and your needs.
In both the body and the mind, people who are too flexible need stronger boundaries: structures, strength, stability, guardrails, and rules.
The Curse of Rigidity
On the other hand, boundaries that are too rigid are also a problem.
In the body, excess rigidity — often presented as muscle tightness or stiffness — prevents fluency of movement. Without agility, you can’t pivot from one direction to another easily.
A tree that has no bend to it will break in a strong storm.
Similarly, a body that is excessively tight or rigid won’t be able to pivot around obstacles, navigate the potholes of life, or absorb the force of impact effectively. It’s more likely to suffer broken bones, strains, and tendon or ligament issues.
In the mind/temperament, boundaries that are too rigid keep people away. You become isolated.
If your thoughts and emotions are rigid you’ll be locked into a perspective, unable to see and adapt to changes in the environment.
The walls that protect you can also imprison you.
The key is to find the middle ground.
Consider When, Not Just Where
The mind and body are related. When people are stiff in their bodies, it reflects rigidity in the mind.
Often, flexibility in the mind precedes flexibility in the body.
A good question to ask is:
Where am I being too rigid in life?
But it’s not just a question of where; I t’s also a question of when.
There are times when it’s important to remain firm and resolute in your stance, to hold your ground.
And there are times when it’s important to be flexible and fluid.
There are situations when it’s necessary you need to assert your preferences and your boundaries and stand up for your needs.
Clearly-established boundaries are a form of emotional, physical, and spiritual self-care.
Setting boundaries has even be shown to improve mental health and mood. On the flip side, being a pushover can result in being taken advantage of and losing self-respect.
In other situations it’s wise to accede to what others want or need, to go with the flow. This helps us preserve relationships and allows us to open to other perspectives and needs.
Our job as humans is to mediate between center and circumference.
Finding the middle ground requires nuance. This is the art of fluency.
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