Every transition is a threshold where we leave something behind and step into the unknown. Even when we think we know where we’re going, we don’t always know for sure where we’ll end up.
But sometimes the threshold can feel more like a crossroads, or like a traffic circle with roads going off in all directions. You have so many options but you’re not sure which path to choose.
You might feel this at the start of a new year, or at other moments of transition: after the death of a loved one, when you’re in between jobs or relationships, or simply when you decide you need to make a change but you’re unsure of what, exactly, that change should be.
When you find yourself standing in the middle of the traffic circle unsure of which path to choose, rather than immediately forcing yourself to “pick a lane” it help to get clear on what’s in alignment for you at this time.
Here are 3 prompts to help you do just that.
(1) What are you tolerating?
What have you been tolerating that you’re no longer willing to tolerate?
I first heard this over a decade ago, and it has become one of my favorite prompts to use with myself and my clients.
As I often remind my real estate clients, in life we often must make compromises, but we should never settle.
It’s especially useful when you feel like you need to make a chance but you aren’t sure where to start. This prompt will illuminate for you where you are living in a way that is beneath your standards and help you see places to make changes.
(2) Who do you want to become?
Give yourself 5 minutes to free write to complete this sentence:
In the coming year, I want to be a person who ….
Identity is the greatest driver of action. Knowing who you are and how you want to show up will make most of your life decisions much easier.
If you don’t know exactly what you want to do, knowing who you want to become can help you see the landscape more clearly and perhaps even see options you may not have previously considered.
At the very least, what emerges can be a powerful accountability check for how you show up in all areas of your life.
Sometimes the simple act of showing up differently starts to take us down the most aligned path.
(3) Start/Stop/Continue/Change
- What do you want to start doing?
- What do you want to stop doing? (Or, what relationships do you need to end?)
- What is working well that you want to continue doing?
- What do you want to continue doing, but with a change to how you’re doing it?
OK, technically this is five prompts, but it’s part of one exercise.
The previous two prompts will help inform your responses. For example, when you identify something you’re no longer willing to tolerate, that will give you a clue about what you need to stop doing.
As you respond to these prompts, think about all areas of your life, as well as your activities, processes, systems, relationships, mindsets, beliefs, habits, and rituals.
Tip: Do This On Paper
It might be easiest to pull out your phone, tablet or laptop and type your responses in your favorite notes app.
That said, you’ll get a lot more out of this if you take pen to paper. Often, the act of writing by hand reveals things that don’t come out when we type.
You don’t need a long time for this exercise. Set a timer for 5–10 minutes for each prompt and see what emerges.
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...