All of life exists in the tension between holding on and letting go.
Flying trapeze metaphor.
I position my feet at the edge of the trapeze platform. My right hand holds the trapeze bar, while my left hand holds the riser.
Early in my flying journey, I learned that if you set it up right, you can stay in this position for a long time. By pulling backward you can balance the tension of the pull forward.
As my right hand reaches into the future, my left hand can anchor to the past. In this way, I can find safety in the tension of the precipice.
After a while, this gets tiring. And, also, it’s not the point.
The point is to fly.
If I want to experience the magic of flight, I must take the leap. I must let go with my left hand.
To let go with my left hand requires trust: that my hand will find its way to the trapeze bar, that my body will land safely in the net, that my mind will stay out of the way for the next 30 seconds.
Even after 20 years of flying, I still consciously think about my takeoff before every swing.
There’s always some degree of fear: will I get my left hand on the bar?
And also there’s a measure of confidence: I’ve done this thousands of times.
I may not always get my left hand exactly where I want it, but not once has my left hand missed the bar.
My trick may not be perfect, but I’ve always landed safely.
And yet, there is still a small piece of me that sometimes hesitates. I can linger on the board, in that tension between the push and pull, a little too long for my liking.
This tension between the push and pull, between past and future, between who we’ve been and who we are becoming, between where we are holding on and where we are being pulled, is the tension at the heart of life itself.
It’s always present, but not always prominent in our conscious thoughts.
Venus Square the Nodes: At the Bendings
This tension gets highlighted today as Venus, just at the start of its long transit through Leo, comes into a square with the Lunar Nodes, which are in Taurus and Scorpio.
The Lunar Nodes are points on the moon’s elliptic, the places where eclipses happen when the nodes line up with the moon, sun, and earth.
Ancient astrologers referred to the nodes as the head and tail of a dragon. The North Node, the head of the dragon, is a point of increase and insatiable desire. Some say it represents our direction in life.
The south node is a point of excretion, extraction, and release. It’s where we need to let go.
When planets come into an exact square with the nodes, they are said to be “at the bendings.”
Astrologer Lauren Howard Coleman explains that
A planet is at the bending of the Nodes when it makes an exact right angle square to both the Nodes, betwixt and between the old order, and the new one that has been gradually evolving. And as the old order becomes progressively less relevant it will begin to fade in power and relevance.
The Push/Pull Tension
When a planet squares the nodes, it highlights the push/pull tension.
The North Node says “do more, get more,” while the South Node says, “do less.”
The North Node says “hold on tighter,” while the South Node says “let go.”
It’s impossible to do both at once. Even if you can do it for a little while, it’s exhausting.
And the point is to move forward.
April Kent explains that a planet at the bending is
an important position that catalyzes movement from one node to the other – between the default setting of the South Node, currently in Scorpio, and the evolutionary path of the North Node, now in Taurus.
She adds that
The tension between the Scorpio South Node and the Taurus North Node is about the conscious choices we make between fear and confidence.
The Impulse to Cling
Life might be more simple if it weren’t for the pesky reality that “old habits die hard” and we often cling to our old ways of doing things.
This tendency is highlighted with the South Node in Scorpio, a fixed sign that tends to hold onto emotions and fears that we stuff way below the surface.
Coleman explained that
with the South Node in Scorpio … there is a part of us that desperately holds on to a past that is no longer enough for where we are now, and where we are needing to go in the future.
Sometimes when we feel in danger of losing the very thing we previously identified with, we will reach for almost anything to keeping it from failing.
I’ve seen this in action countless times. As a first time flyer release the trapeze bar to come to the net, they often instinctively grab their safety lines — which are attached to their body. Holding the safety lines doesn’t change anything, but it’s something to hold on to.
When life feels uncertain, what do you cling to? Where do you hold on even though holding on doesn’t change anything?
The Impulse to Go Back
Sometimes, when a new flyer gets lined up at the edge of the platform, fear takes over. They pull back all the way. They retreat. Sometimes, they will climb down the ladder rather than take the leap.
Pluto, now in Aquarius, is also at the bendings. It is about to retrograde back into Capricorn. And this also speaks to a pattern that happens when we are in the tension of the push/pull:
We may try to go back to the old way.
When we feel like we are losing a part of our identity, going back to a previous identity can feel safe.
It almost always seems like it would be easier to go backward than to go forward.
Because the certainty of what we know — even if it was painful — is often less painful than the uncertainty of the unknown that lies ahead.
The Invitation to Transcend
Planetary squares highlight tension, but they also present an opportunity for us to transcend that tension.
They provide the friction that is the catalyst for our growth.
In Leo, a sign connected to bravery, boldness, and courage, Venus is at the opening bending point, a place where the story is starting, where we are being called to express our confidence.
As Kent explains,
At this square, we’d do well in Venus-related matters such as relationships and financial security to turn our backs on feelings that draw us toward the South Node and its fears of what might never come to pass – and instead, embrace and take confidence from what we’ve learned through practical experience.
This doesn’t mean that the fear goes away. The fear and confidence can co-exist even as we move forward.
As I stand at the edge of the trapeze platform, one hand reaching into the future and the other anchored to the past, I am in the limbo of the push/pull.
Experience tells me that my left hand always gets to the bar and I always land safely in the net.
The only way to experience the magic of flight is to take the leap, to release the grip of my left hand, and to allow the bar to carry me forward.