What keeps you from going after what you want?
This question lies at the core of much of the work I do with my clients. They often come to me with some version of I know what I should be doing, but I’m not doing it.
There are myriad reasons why we don’t take action. All forms of resistance arise: fears, doubts, inner critics, expectations, complexities, judgments, beliefs, assumptions, perceived lack of resources or skills.
Sometimes trauma-related issues are in the way.
And, sometimes, if we are being honest with ourselves, we might acknowledge that the real thing that keeps us from going after what we want is that, at least on some level, we don’t really want it.
#HardTruths.
We might like the idea of it or the illusion of what we think it is, but we are less enthralled by the practicalities and realities of what is actually involved.
For example, maybe you want to be a doctor. You like the idea of helping patients and creating a meaningful difference. But you don’t really want to spend your days diagnosing diseases and hearing complaints from patients in pain.
Or maybe you don’t want to be a doctor at all. Maybe that was what your parent did. Perhaps you felt compelled to carry on in the “family business,” or you inherited the expectation that you should do so.
If there’s even a small piece of us that doesn’t really want what we say we want, self-sabotage is inevitable.
What Happens When You Truly Desire Something
Looking back at my own life, I’ve noticed that when I have truly fully desired something, there’s virtually nothing that can stand in my way of achieving it. Rules and normative practices are easily discarded. I cut away all expectations or attempts to adhere to best practices.
Lack of skills or resources don’t pose a barrier; I navigate around any limitations or challenges by innovating new solutions.
When I first started in the real estate business, Facebook and Twitter were still in its infancy and Instagram didn’t yet exist. I leveraged social media to build a referral-based business within my first year — without business pages, ads, or metrics.
Nobody had built a playbook for it yet. I created my own.
Years before tech companies started to develop apps for real estate agents to use for open-house sign-ins, I had created a prototype using the Numbers app on my iPad that served me better than the fancier tech solutions.
I’ve seen other entrepreneurs follow the same path. In fact, it’s often this quality that draws either admiration or disdain from a watchful public. Sometimes both at once.
How to Cut Through All Obstacles
We might resent someone who goes after what they want in such a direct way, while also admiring their resolve and willingness to break or bend rules to suit their needs.
And, yet, we are all capable of this approach. If your life or the lives of someone you cared deeply about were on the line, what would you do differently? How aggressive would you be in pursuing what you truly desire?
The pre-requisite is to get clear — and honest — about what you truly want and why. When you direct your focus to an outcome that is truly yours, and that is aligned with your deepest values, you’ll find a warrior spirit that helps you cut away all obstacles and excuses.
Find a way or make one.
We have the capacity to hone in on this quality at any time, but some moments are more ripe than others.
Mars/Venus Conjunction in Aquarius
This week offers one of those moments, as Mars and Venus form a conjunction in the sign of Aquarius (February 22 at 2:14 am ET).
Conjunctions are new beginnings — like a new moon — and this one gives us a restart on the Mars/Venus cycle. It happens only once every two years.
This is often considered a “relationship signature,” but it’s so much more.
Venus speaks to issues of love, relationships, beauty, art, pleasure, creativity, money — all stand-ins for what we value. It speaks to what we desire.
Mars is the principle of action, aggression, drive, will, determination, and heat. It is the warrior. It breaks through, cuts, slices, and severs.
As these two planets meeting up in Aquarius, a sign that speaks to ideas and innovation, it is the start of a new cycle for your creativity, desire, and your willingness to take bold, unencumbered action towards it.
A New Creative Project to Benefit the Collective
Aquarius also speaks to the collective good, communities, and groups. So you might consider how your project benefits the collective.
The warrior doesn’t fight for itself, it holds ground for the tribe.
Connecting with how our project can help the collective can give us the added motivation to cut through the obstacles and limitations we perceive to be in our way.
How to Work With the Mars/Venus Conjunction in Aquarius
This conjunction invites us to consider what we truly desire and what actions we’re willing to take to make this project happen.
- What’s a project that you truly desire to bring into this world?
- How will this project benefit the collective?
- What stories, beliefs, obstacles, or limitations are you ready to cut away to create what you desire?
- Where might you innovate to create new solutions to problems that seem to be keeping you stuck?
- What support can you enlist to help you stay on course in creating this project?
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