Even though I don’t put much stock in number metrics or traditional “end of year” measurements, I had told my coach I wanted to do a “heavy lifting” day as an end-of-year test to benchmark my deadlifts.
Typically, nothing gets me more energized than the prospect of a heavy deadlift day and the challenge of hitting a new milestone.
But as I drove to the gym for our session, I wasn’t feeling it. My body had been hurting all week. I was going through some end-of-year malaise.
I just felt “over it.”
The signs of resistance were everywhere:
- I was uncharacteristically late.
- I was grumpy and sullen.
- I was mentally and emotionally checked-out.
- I rolled my eyes often.
As I started to warm up — before there was even a weight on the barbell — I walked back my original intentions for the day.
I know I said I wanted to lift heavy, but I don’t really want to lift heavy today.
The response barely acknowledged my current state:
We’ll see how you feel.
How I felt was that I wanted no part of this. My body language, demeanor, and uncharacteristic quiet nature, spoke that loud and clear.
By the time we finished, I was smiling and effusive as I deadlifted 220 — a 15-pound increase over my previous best — without even switching to a mixed grip on the bar. Even failing at 225 couldn’t ruin my mood.
I walked out a completely different person from when I walked in.
At the start of 2023, I hadn’t even contemplated that this achievement would be in the realm of possibility for me, and yet somehow it felt totally natural that I had reached it.
A Fractal of My Lessons of 2023
In reflecting on that session, I realized that it was one of those experiences whose lessons transcend the moment and the specifics of the circumstances.
This is not about the deadlift, or the gym, or physical training. These are lessons about life, finding your potential, making progress, and what it takes to achieve big goals.
The lessons I learned in that hour were the same lessons I had been learning or reinforcing all year.
I pulled so many lessons from this event that I chunked them into larger themes.
The first theme is about what it takes to make progress toward any big goal.
Big Lesson 1: Every Big Accomplishment is a Culmination — a Peak Experience
When I successfully executed a 220-pound deadlift, it was a peak moment — a culmination of events. Peak moments aren’t always replicable, but the events and actions we take that lead to them are replicable.
Here are 5 important lessons that I learned about reaching a peak milestone:
(1) Show Up — Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
I could have cancelled that day or backed out of heavy lifting without any remorse. My body was hurting, I was having a bad week, and I train plenty hard all the time.
I didn’t feel like training. But I showed up anyway. And I had a great result.
That’s not the first time this has happened with a workout or training session. It’s a pattern that also shows up in other contexts. It happens with my blog. It’s happened with social events. It happens with workouts.
It happens so often that I have learned that the times when I don’t “feel like it” are usually the times when I have my best outcomes.
In fact, as I was driving to the gym that day, a little voice in the back of my head said to me:
You’ll probably hit a PR precisely because you don’t feel like training today.
Turns out, that part of me was right.
The willingness to show up even when you “don’t feel like it” is what differentiates people who do great things from people who only dream about it. It’s what differentiates professionals from amateurs.
The willingness to show up even when you “don’t feel like it” is what differentiates people who achieve great things from people who only dream about achieving great things.
(2) Consistency Is Key
Consistency is the foundation for all accomplishment.
To be clear, it’s not just consistency in showing up for the big moments, like the session with a coach or trainer, or a big event.
When it came to this big deadlift, it was not just that I had the consistency of support from a coach.
The consistency that counts most is in what I did outside of those sessions. I show up every day at the gym and do my homework: the boring drills and accessory work that lay the foundation for the big gains.
A recent conversation with a mentor about writing revealed the same pattern: so many people are focused on finding the secret to writing an essay that goes “viral” — the equivalent of a big deadlift PR. The only secret to going viral is to consistently write and publish.
The way to produce your best work is to allow yourself to produce any work at all. To put it out there, even if you think it sucks and even if you don’t feel like it.
You may not have your best day, you may not produce your best work, you may not feel like you got much traction at all from it. But you are guaranteed to do nothing if you don’t even show up.
Consistency in doing the little things is the key to big achievements. You may not have your best day, you may not produce your best work, you may not feel like you got much traction at all from it. But you are guaranteed to do nothing if you don’t even show up.
(3) Consistency is Not Enough: You Need a Plan
There’s a good reason people call me the “Queen of Consistency.”
Among other things, I haven’t missed a daily workout in over 10 years. I have a daily meditation practice. I publish a daily blog.
I’ll preach about consistency all day, because it’s where most people fall down.
That said, I’ll also be the first one to tell you that consistency is not enough. For most of the past decade, being consistent in going to the gym didn’t result in major strength gains. At best it kept me at my status quo.
That’s because I’d usually default to what came most easily or what I knew I could do well. I’d hop on a stationary bike, hit some weight machines, maybe work with some dumbbells.
One lesson reinforced in 2023 was that consistency is just the buy-in. It gets you the seat at the table, but on it’s own it won’t help you make progress toward your goals.
The times I’ve made significant progress have always been in stretches, like in 2023, where I worked with a coach or trainer who gave me a specific plan to follow.
Having a specific plan for what to do helped me stay focused in the gym and use my time effectively. It prevented me from puttering and getting lost in the rabbit hole of research about what I could do.
There’s a huge difference between taking any action and taking the effective actions that are targeted to help you get to where you want to go.
Consistency in showing up is the buy-in, but it’s not enough on its own. There’s a huge difference between taking any action and taking the effective actions that are targeted to help you get to where you want to go.
(4) Skills Improve with Specific Practice
Reading medical journals won’t make you a better doctor. Studying math and practicing math problems won’t make you a better investor. Studying design won’t make you a better designer. Reading books about writing won’t make you a better writer. Researching exercises won’t make you stronger.
These activities can inform your practice, but they aren’t a substitute for actually doing the practice.
As my trampoline coach often says: all training is specific.
If you want to make progress in any skill, you must practice that specific skill and strengthen the muscles required for that skill.
On a daily basis, I do drills and exercises to strengthen my feet and legs. I work on grip strength and breathing techniques.
In my yoga practice, and in the yoga classes I teach, I am fastidious about working the hip hinge and practicing poses that build intrinsic foot strength.
This focus has translated to better body position and power in my deadlifts.
But the thing that helped my deadlifts the most is actually practicing deadlifts. Even sets at lighter loads help train the body’s neural pathways.
There’s no substitute for practicing the skill you want to improve.
If you want to make progress in any skill, you must practice that specific skill and strengthen the muscles required for that skill.
(5) Progress is Not Linear: Nobody Stays at the Peak
In weightlifting, new milestones often come on a single repetition, what is known as a 1-rep-max.
There’s something about this that feels ephemeral to me, as if I only was able to do it because certain conditions aligned at the right time.
I mentioned to my coach that I feel more confident when I do a lift for multiple reps; somehow that indicates to me that I can really do it — it’s not just luck.
His response was that nobody hits their 1-rep-max all the time.
This was one of those things I intuitively knew, and it makes so much sense because it follows the laws of nature. But I had never really considered it in this context.
Of course, this makes sense because it’s just like climbing a mountain: the point of climbing the mountain is to reach the peak, but nobody stays at the peak.
It’s just like climbing a mountain: nobody stays at the peak.
This is the path to progress. You reach a peak, then you back off of it and continue to work on your skills and strength.
Eventually you climb back up, and ideally you pass the old peak and reach a new peak. Then you back off again, come down, and work at a lower range before heading back up, and so on.
To expect a streak of constantly improving results is unrealistic. If you’re the type of person who beats yourself up for not constantly improving, this expectation can also inevitably set you up for failure.
If you’re down on yourself when you’re not at the peak, you’ll find it more difficult to show up consistently and practice the skills that will lead to the next round of improvement.
To expect a streak of constantly improving results is unrealistic and sets you up for failure. When climbing a mountain, nobody stays at the peak.
What Are You Taking From This?
Which of these lessons resonates most with you?
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