If you’ve ever struggled to start a task and received the advice to “just get started”, then you know how infuriating and shaming it can be. Here is the guide you need to get started when you’re struggling to start.
Many people with ADHD struggle to get started on certain tasks, even if we have high motivation — a strong reason and purpose.
The common advice in this situation is to “just get started.”
Cue eye roll.
The theory behind this advice is that “motivation comes from action” and not the other way around.
This concept might be true, but it misses the point.
The aphorism that “motivation comes from action” assumes that a person’s failure to initiate action is rooted in laziness or “lack of motivation.”
In many cases, especially for people with ADHD, this isn’t true.
In fact, you might be highly motivated to take action and still struggle to initiate a task.
This doesn’t make you lazy or “unmotivated” or any of those other things that people say to shame you.
Here’s a metaphor I like to use:
If motivation is the fuel for your action, you have a full tank of gas. Your challenge is a faulty ignition: you can’t start the car.
Telling someone to “just get started” when they are struggling to start a task is like telling someone whose car won’t start to “just start driving.”
If the car would start, they would be driving it already.
This is a common Catch–22 for people with ADHD:
How do you start when you have a faulty ignition?
If your car won’t start, you call a mechanic or a friend with jumper cables to give you a jump start.
The same applies when you’re struggling with task initiation.
Here are 3 ways to get a jump start when you’re struggling with task initiation.
(1) Get Support
When my nieces were little and learning to swing, they would ask for a “starting push” to get them started. Once they were in the motion, they could pump their legs to build height, but they needed the initial push to help them get airborne.
In the same way, people with ADHD often need a “starting push” to help us get started.
That support can look different depending on the task:
- the structure of an environment that supports the task
- a task buddy to start the task with you or do the whole thing with you
- a body double who is in the room while you do the task
- a group of people to do the task with you, as you might find in a workout class
(2) Have a Plan
A car doesn’t need to know where it’s going to turn on. You just put the key in the ignition (or hit the “start” button).
Human beings are a little more complicated. Sometimes we get stuck in task initiation because we don’t know where we’re going.
That old saying that “you don’t need to know where you’re going to take the first step” may be true, but try telling that to a mind that can’t initiate energy to begin.
For some people, it can be hard to get out of bed in the morning if you don’t have a plan for your day and place to go. This is one reason I start every day with a workout — it gives me a purpose to get me up and out of bed.
Even within the context of specific activities, it helps to have a plan going into them. Just having a plan can be enough to get you started — even if you end up changing the plan or ditching it altogether.
(3) Create a Starting Ritual
If you know certain tasks are particularly challenging to start, it can help to have a starting ritual for those tasks.
A starting ritual is a specific action or set-up for the action you’re going to take.
In essence, a starting ritual is a plan for before the plan.
It gives you the consistency of doing the same action as a way to prime your brain for the main action.
When you have a starting ritual, you don’t need to think about “how to start” because you have a set plan already.
Here are 6 criteria for a good starting ritual:
- Link it to a trigger. The trigger can be a specific location or set-up. For example:
- when you walk into the gym
- when you sit down at your computer
- Path of least resistance. Often what inhibits starting energy is resistance to some part of the task that comes later. The antidote is to start with the path of least resistance. A starting ritual must be easy to do, even when your energy levels are low.
- Repetitive. Your objective is to “grease the wheels.” You want this to be a repetitive motion that can get you into a rhythm. For example,
- start your workout with walking or riding a stationary bike.
- start your creative work by writing stream of consciousness just to get your fingers moving on the keyboard.
- Mindless. If you’re struggling to get started, you don’t have bandwidth for high-focus activities. Make your starting ritual something that requires as little thought or cognitive energy as possible.
- Limited. To avoid the starting ritual taking over the time allocated for the task, put a limit on it. You can limit in several ways, including:
- Time
- Number of reps or word count
- Target goal, such as distance
- Consistent. Doing the same starting ritual each time you’re going to do a specific task will prime your brain and body to link that starting ritual with the action. This will help you get into the plan for the day without overthinking it.
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