I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love to open a present. It can be a delight to receive a thoughtful gift.
That said, the gifts that make the biggest impact — the gifts that most people truly want — can’t be put under the tree.
Even if you’ve already finished your gift shopping, these are gifts you might want to add to your gifting over the holiday season and beyond.
As a bonus, no wrapping required.
(1) Presence
In our culture of daily busy-ness, in which we often rush from one appointment or task to the next, a common complaint from people is that they have “no time” for what really matters.
No time to sit with a loved one and listen to them. No time to engage in practices that will fill their own tanks. No time to pay attention to the signs from kids who might be struggling in school.
Far more impactful than anything you can buy for your loved ones is to give them the gift of presence: dedicated time to simply listen to them, to hear what’s on their mind, to see them without the blinders of judgment and without the pressure of needing to run somewhere else.
The most fundamental need of all humans — beyond feeling a visceral sense of safety — is the need to feel seen and heard. In fact, when we truly see and hear others without judgment, we help them feel safe.
Time you spend with people where you can be fully present with them is a gift that will have ripple effects for you and for them.
(2) Touch
At the start of my yoga classes, I always ask students whether they are ok with hands-on adjustments. Many respond that they are more than ok with it; they welcome it.
I’ve had students come to my classes specifically to receive my adjustments or hands-on Reiki healing.
Evidence shows a myriad of benefits from receiving compassionate human touch, including:
- reduce heart rate and blood pressure
- reduces release of the stress hormone cortisol
- plays a beneficial role in immune response
- triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone known for promoting emotional bonding
Touch can also transmit a sense of being accepted and cared for, and can reduce a feeling of loneliness.
On the other hand, touch deprivation is correlated with anxiety, depression, and immune system disorders.
Yes, you can always gift the gift of massage, but also think about the basics, such as a hug, a hand on someone’s back, or holding someone’s hand.
A hand on someone’s back conveys support and care in a way that can be profoundly impactful. Studies have also shown that the brain quiets in response to stress when a person’s hand is held.
Important Caveat: always make sure you receive consent first. Just because we are in need of human touch to survive and thrive doesn’t mean it’s always welcomed. As I remind my yoga students, consent can be withdrawn at any time.
(3) Connection
Ironically we live in an era where we are more connected than ever before, yet also profoundly lacking in meaningful connections.
Loneliness has been labeled as a public health epidemic. It impacts not only mental health, but also physical health.
Loneliness is not necessarily about the absence of people around you. In my coaching practice, I’ve worked with clients who admit to feeling lonely despite being in what look like happy marriages and having children and friends.
Everyone wants to feel a sense of connection to things and people beyond themselves, and to a purpose that is bigger than themselves.
One of the best gifts we can give others is the gift of connection. Invite a friend over to hang out or go for a walk.
Another way we can give the gift of connection is by generously receiving gifts from others. If a friend offers to do something for you, consider that receiving that gesture may help your friend feel a sense of purpose that they might be lacking.
When we help others feel a sense of belonging and inclusion, we also benefit by feeling a sense of purpose beyond ourselves.
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