This is part of a series exploring the seven lower Sephirot (spheres) of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. These spheres are the seven core emotions that drive human interaction.
This week we have been exploring the sephirah of Gevurah, the strength of restraint, boundaries, and restrictions.
in pursuit of goals
hold back what’s interfering
create space for growth
Sometimes it seems that whenever I plan to do something important, all sorts of interruptions arise to keep me from what I desired to do.
Suddenly there’s emails that need to be responded to, or people calling or walking into the room, or some other pressing need. Disruptions are unavoidable.
I know it’s not just me; many clients report the same thing.
It seems to be inevitable.
Except it’s not.
This is where the trait of Chesed of Gevurah comes in.
This is the trait for day 8 of the Omer, the first day of week 2.
Loving-Kindness in Restraint
Chesed of Gevurah is about creating space for something to grow on its own terms by actively interfering to prevent disruptions.
Consider the space that you might need for a project and the intrusions that might arise to interfere with that space, and doing what is necessary to preserve that space.
A simple example offered by Rabbi Gavriel Goldfeder is removing the weeds in a garden to create space for the flowers to grow.
Another example is erecting a fence around a garden to keep out the rabbits who would otherwise eat the flowers.
Creating Space For Your Best “Work”
I call this the art of “creating space for your best work.”
My clients often find this language easier to digest than “boundaries.”
This skill is at the core of the work I do with my clients.
It’s important to note that “work” doesn’t mean only traditional work. It means anything you need to do to show up at your best. It might be the space you need to write or do deep work or the space you need for healing and restoration.
What’s the Source of Interference?
Sometimes the source of interference is external, like people interrupting you while you’re trying to work. Co-workers who need “just a minute” or meetings that serve no purpose.
Other times it’s internal, like a tendency to jump into social media or surf Google when you are feeling stuck or anxious.
Some interruptions — like the urgent emails or calls that need our attention — might seem to be external, but we have more control than we think.
Tip: Create Rules to Tame Interference
The best way to tame interference is by creating rules that force you to do the actions that align with your intentions.
For example, – I have a rule that I show up to my yoga mat or my workout even if I don’t feel like it, This reinforces my committment to take care of my body.
- I have a rule that I don’t go online before a certain time of day. This helps me avoid the distractions of social media or email before I’ve done some deep work.
- I have a rule about no meetings before a certain time of day.
In the same way you might say “no” to a child to act in their best interest, rules help you say no to the distractions that might otherwise derail you.
What Forces Interfere With Your Best Work?
Some questions to consider as you integrate this element:
- What are the “weeds” that prevent you from making progress on what matters?
- How can you limit those interferences to create space for your best work?
- What are some rules you can make for yourself and others that create firm and loving boundaries?
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