I tend draw wisdom from a wide variety of wells. When I receive the same message from divergent sources at the same time, my inner antennae perk up to let me know:
This is important. This is wisdom to be heeded.
This week, the wisdom comes from astrologer Chani Nicholas and entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuck.
This may be the first blog post in history to put those two people in the same sentence.
Wisdom is a universal language.
Power and Self-Love
In the weekly astrology reading in her eponymous app, Chani discusses the transits of the week ahead and what they might mean.
This week she explained that tomorrow’s Sun/Pluto opposition is an invitation to unearth our beliefs about our sources of power.
Our power does not comes from external sources ever. Period. The entire world is configured to say otherwise, but it’s simply not true.
Earlier this week, Mars and Venus — the Lovers — made a conjunction in Leo, which rules the heart. initiating a new creative cycle.
One meaning Chani ascribed to this transit that that part of this new creative cycle is about loving ourselves unconditionally — and feeling what is possible when we do, especially in the creative realm.
Chani observed that some of us have an idea that if we hold ourselves back, other people will like us more.
Chani offered this theme for reflection:
If you were to love yourself unconditionally, what would you attempt? What would you try to do, no matter if it succeeded? What would you experiment with? What would you try out in front of your audience?
Assuming you know what that thing is: why is it that you don’t do it?
Where are you holding back because of fear of some perceived public opinion?
As I see it, this piece on self love relates to the power concept:
When we hold back out of fear of what people will say or think, we give our power away. We rest our power with external sources by allowing them to control our actions not by what they actually say or do, but by our fear of what they might say or do.
Enter GaryVee, as he is affectionately known.
The Superpower of Non-Judgment
I came across a YouTube video this week in which GaryVee riffed on the topic of self-judgment:
The greatest blessing of my life is that I don’t judge myself.
He said his “superpower” was that he doesn’t judge himself.
And then he asked:
Why are you tearing yourself down? Everyone else is already doing it for you.
That line landed like a punch to the gut.
And this is another piece of how we give our power away.
The “Strategy” of Self-Judgment
Tearing ourselves down through self-judgment or self-criticism is often a strategy intended to inoculate against criticism from others.
The underlying belief is that if we can attack ourselves first, then we will build immunity to attack from others.
Here’s the flaw in the strategy:
Whatever immunity we may accrue to others’ criticism of us is outweighed by a more damaging side effect of this vaccine:
Lasting damage to our self-trust.
Self-trust is the fuel we use to make and follow through on decisions, whether strategic or creative.
Self-judgment and self-criticism tear at the fabric of our self-trust, and create a breeding ground for the self-doubt and second guessing that can cause us to hold back or get stuck implementing our ideas.
Whether we hold back out of fear of how others may respond or try to preempt the expected attack from others by attacking ourselves first, the outcome is the same: we fail to pursue our best ideas and biggest dreams. We get stuck.
The Secret of Bold Innovators
The secret of people who take big bold risks is not that they have more courage or less fear; it’s that they cultivate deeper self-love.
If the concept of “self-love” feels too esoteric or unattainable to you, you can think of it as self-acceptance and self-trust, which are the building blocks to self-love.
What it looks like is the same:
Those who take bold risks, who decide quickly and stand in their truth, don’t get caught up in wondering or worrying about what other people will think or say or do in response to their actions. They don’t even get caught up in what they think.
This doesn’t mean that they are reckless, inconsiderate, or cavalier.
What it means is that they don’t judge themselves incessantly. They don’t criticize themselves. They don’t shame themselves.
And therefore they cultivate deeper self-trust, which empowers them to take risks.
It’s like a net on the flying trapeze: it catches them when they fall and then bounces them up again.
Self-trust and self-love are the the fuel for our creative risk, innovation, and bold action.
What would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? If your sense of worth wasn’t tied to anyone else’s opinion of you? What risk would you take if you trusted yourself?
Self-trust is your superpower.
your inner critic
tears the fabric of self-trust
trust yourself and thrive
Are you ready for a revolution?
I’m thrilled to announce that The Ritual Revolution is now open for limited enrollment.
If you’re ready for a Revolution, I invite you to join me for 7 weeks, starting on Thursday July 22 at 4 pm ET for a transformative live, interactive and integrated experience where you’ll learn to cultivate deeper self-trust and self-acceptance.
We will gather live for 90 minutes each week, in sacred circle to explore what gets in your way and how to remove it so you can deepen your remembering of who you are and do the work you are here to do.
Register here or contact me for more details.