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You are here: Home / Learning / Who Over What or How

Who Over What or How

April 24, 2026 | Renée Fishman

At the bare minimum, most people attend school from ages 4 to 18. If you go to college and grad school, it’s even longer. I was 25 when I graduated from law school. I’m 50 now. That means that when I look at my life to this point, approximately the first half of it was spent in school.

School hijacks our formative years, when the brain and nervous system are especially spongy for taking in beliefs and habits. Some of these are beneficial, such as learning to share and get along with a diverse array of people.

Others, not so much.

One of the things that school teaches us is we need to know the right answers.

We need to know the “what” and the “how.”

But here’s the thing: nobody can know all the answers.

In real life, knowing the answer isn’t nearly as important as knowing where to find the answer or who to ask.

Similarly, knowing how to do something isn’t make-or-break if you know who knows how to do the thing.

We are not meant to know everything or develop every skill on our own. Life is a collaborative project.

Knowing who to ask, and being able to ask, is a vastly more relevant skill than knowing every what or how.

Imagine if schools taught that skill.

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Filed Under: Learning Tagged With: answers, knowledge, learning, mindset, relationships, school, support, who

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