Every minute that you’re awake, your mind spins stories. Sometimes these stories come in the form of thoughts or beliefs. They may be memories or prediction and sound like actual stories. Or they may come in the form of questions, which are responding to stories beneath the surface.
The assumption you have about the person who hasn’t called you back is a story.
Your belief about what something means is a story.
Your conclusion about what it takes to succeed in any given endeavor is a story.
We tell stories. It’s what we do.
Some of the stories upset us. They can trigger fear, anxiety, regret, and remorse. Stories can make us question our competence and our commitment. They can poke holes in our self-confidence.
Stories can also trigger joy and happiness. They can reaffirm our commitments and bolster our confidence.
It helps to remember that all stories are lies.
I know you may be thinking, my story can’t be a lie. I have evidence to support it.
Of course you do. That’s how the mind works. You tell a story and then you see all the evidence that supports your story. If you changed your story you’d find evidence for the new story.
By the way, the statement that your story is true is itself a story. So is the assertion that all stories are lies.
So instead of asking whether the story you’re telling is true, let’s ask a different question:
Does it serve you?
Does the story empower, inspire, or motivate you? Does it bring you joy?
Does your story serve you? Does it take you where you want to go in life?
If yes, then keep it.
If no, then change it.
You get to choose your story.
Choose one that serves you.
[…] “my hip hurts” is neutral on its own. It only veers into a “negative” statement — or a story that doesn’t serve me — when I ascribe meaning to it, either in terms of its cause or […]