The Cost of Masking

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde

When I first started teaching yoga at my current studio, I subbed for other teachers. In my first week, I covered for two off the most popular teachers. They had a loyal base of students and I felt pressure to deliver in a way that would meet those students’ expectations.

Those teachers had big personalities, and I felt like I had to fill their big shoes.

One of my teaching mentors advised me that instead of trying to emulate those other teachers, I should just be myself.

She pointed out that I’d never fully replicate the other teacher. Instead, I should focus on giving the class the best experience I could — as myself.

That advice liberated me from the pressure to “perform” as someone else. Without that pressure, I was more available and present to my students and their needs.

Performance is exhausting, and rarely sustainable.

Releasing the facade of performance and showing up as myself has allowed me to develop my voice as a teacher. Over time, I’ve developed my own following. My classes might not be for everyone, and that’s ok. The people who resonate with my classes show up regularly.

This advice is not just for teaching yoga.

There are many places in life where we feel compelled to perform a different version of ourselves: a new job, filling in for someone else, trying to meet someone’s expectation.

Those of us who are neurodivergent often feel compelled to mask parts of ourselves in order to fit in or avoid creating waves.

We’re afraid of what will happen if we drop the act and allow ourselves to be fully ourselves.

But we should really be afraid of the opposite — of the consequences of trying to sustain the performance.

Masking is performance, and performance is exhausting.

All that masking and pretending eventually leads to burnout. There’s a limit on how long we can keep up the facade.

Dropping the act and being yourself frees up energy — and allows us to find connection with the people that resonate with our frequency.