The Paradox of Sagittarius Season

Grief has no timeline. It ebbs and flows, it comes in waves, and in some respects it’s always present. In contrast, the act of mourning is not meant to last forever.

In the Jewish tradition, after someone dies, the immediate family sits shiva — a week of mourning during which they don’t leave the home and people come to visit them to provide comfort.

At the end of shiva, the mourners are allowed to resume most activities, but the mourning period continues for another 3 weeks — a total of 30 days. During this period, which is known as shloshim (Hebrew for thirty), a mourner can leave their house, but is supposed to stay away from big parties and celebrations.

Once shloshim ends, the mourner returns to the normal daily activities of life.

(For a child mourning a parent, there is an extended mourning period of an additional 11 months.)

The Distinction Between Grief and Mourning

This timeline of Jewish mourning draws a clear distinction between the emotion of grief and the act of mourning.

In the immediate aftermath of a death, when we are most consumed with grief, we are comforted by incubating in our homes and receiving comfort from visitors. After a week, we are ready to at least resume some of our more mundane activities, even if we’re not yet ready to be celebratory and extraverted.

The shloshim period gives the mourner time to find stillness and escape the hustle, to turn inward, to process the loss. But the utility of this mourning behavior has its limits.

The Jewish tradition offers no illusion that the grief magically disappears after 30 days. Rather, the ritual timelines recognize that it’s not healthy to self-isolate, to shut out the world, or wallow in the depths of our grief for too long. Even if our inner world still feels dark, eventually we must re-emerge into the light.

When we feel like contracting, it’s useful to find expansion. When we feel like isolating, it’s helpful to seek community. And when we are tempted to give in to despair, we must find some optimism and faith.

When we feel like contracting, it’s useful to find expansion. When we feel like isolating, it’s helpful to seek community. And when we are tempted to give in to despair, we must find some optimism and faith.

Why the limit of 30 days?

One explanation is that this is the time it takes the Sun to transit through one sign of the zodiac.

In fact, this process is reflected as the Sun transits from the sign of Scorpio to Sagittarius (November 21, 2024 at 2:56 pm ET).

This transit marks a shift in energy from contraction to expansion, from incubation to exploration, and from grief to joy.

The Paradox of Sagittarius Season

Sagittarius is a mutable sign, which means it bridges the seasons, taking us from the autumn to the winter in the northern hemisphere.

As the last season of autumn, Sagittarius season falls in the darkest time of the year. The days are growing shorter, the nights are growing longer, and the weather is getting colder.

Nature is contracting. It would appear to be the perfect time to stay home, incubate, and nest.

Yet Sagittarius represents the opposite of this tendency. It is a fire sign ruled by Jupiter. Fire spreads and expands, burns hot, provides light. Jupiter, the largest planet in the solar system, magnifies and expands.

This is the paradox of the season: it’s a sign of expansion in a season of contraction.

The Lesson of Sagittarius Season

Sagittarius season takes us from contraction to expansion, from introspection to expression, from incubation to exploration, from the depths of the still waters to the breadth of opportunities available out in the world, from despair to optimism, and from grief to joy.

At a time when the darkness is increasing and we might be most inclined to incubate and isolate in our grief, Sagittarius season reminds us that sometimes we are best served by doing the opposite of our impulse.

The process of healing our inner darkness requires us to tap into our fire, to launch ourselves out into the light of the world, and to venture on a journey to explore the unknown.

Sagittarius season invites us to embrace hope and find light even in the times of maximum darkness, to remember that the depth of our emotions is mirrored by the breadth of opportunities out in the world, and that even the tiniest spark of joy can ignite into a full-blown fire that can warm us on the coldest nights.