5 Reasons to Workout When You’re Grieving

Grief comes in waves, and the early morning hours bring the strongest surges.

I’ve conditioned myself to get up immediately when the alarm goes off, but over the past couple of weeks my legs have felt too heavy to move. I want to linger under the covers and go back to sleep.

Perhaps, if I sleep long enough, I can wake up to discover that I’ve just been living in a bad dream.

Of course, in my reality, the longer I lay in bed, the more my body hurts when I get out of bed.

Bodies need to move. So I get up and trudge through my morning routine and go to the gym to workout.

Working Out in Grief: Hard, But Necessary

Even though I typically love working out, these days, workouts are sometimes the thing I least want to do. It can be extra hard to find my motivation and my ignition to get going.

It’s important to acknowledge that this is normal.

When you’re grieving a big loss, it’s natural to not want to engage in your favorite activities, whether it’s exercise or something else.

That said, I also believe that exercise is essential to the grieving process.

(1) Maintain Routine

Grief is disruptive to our lives. It’s not just the time and energy spent processing the loss. It’s also the brain fog and stagnation of energy.

The structures of my routines are crucial for me, and maintaining consistency in my morning routine helps me find stability. It also helps on other fronts:

• Knowing I have to be at the gym gives me a reason to get out of bed when I’d rather hide under the covers.
• Having a goal helps me start my day with a feeling of accomplishment.
• I know exercise is crucial for me to even have a chance of clearing the brain fog and getting through my day.
• Working out gives me a sense of control that can be elusive during a profound grieving period. I can’t control death but I can control this part of life.

(2) Move the Energy

Grief can be a stagnating force. Movement helps the energy move through me so that it doesn’t get stuck in the body.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, grief is associated with the lungs. Movement and breath help us move the energy of grief through us so that the grief doesn’t get stagnant and keep us stuck.

Lifting weights can be a constructive outlet for dislodging stuck emotions. Sometimes the effort involved in a heavy lift can be so intense and frustrating that it releases a wave of emotion that had been stuck within me. It’s not unusual for me to start crying after completing a heavy lift — or failing a lift.

(3) Connect Mind, Body, and Emotions

With any emotions, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the stories and thoughts and lose track of the body. Emotions, including grief, manifest physically and psychologically.

Engaging in mindful movement — whether it’s yoga, a walk, lifting weights, or anything else — helps reconnect the mind and body. It’s a way for me to check in to assess where my body is on that particular day and what it needs. I can feel where the energy is stuck.

(4) Self-Soothe Through Repetition

Repetitive movements help us find a rhythm and flow that can be soothing to the nervous system. The cadence of a long walk, run, or swim. The fluidity of a flowing between a few poses in a yoga practice. Going through the routine of weightlifting and hearing the clink of weights on the deadlift platform.

Each of these different activities helps us unite movement and breath. As we get lost for a while in their repetitive nature, it frees up the mind for processing the grief.

(5) Receive Support

True healing comes through connection and community. As much as grief wants me to isolate in my pain, I know that being around people can be healing. It can pull me out of my shell and give me people to talk to.

Going to the gym forces me to interact with other people, even when I’d prefer to isolate in my own world. The gym is a place where I can receive support and care from actual humans.

Touch has healing powers, both for emotional and physical pain. Whether it’s a hug from a gym friend or a hands-on adjustment from a coach to help correct my form, these little moments can boost the spirit and relieve some of the pain of grief.

Connecting in conversation with others — whether about the grief itself or just about the workout of the day or another random topic — can bring a lift to the spirit.