Our deepest wounds are often formed in relationship.
People in pain inflict pain on others. It may happen unknowingly and without malicious intent, but that doesn’t lessen the pain.
The most entrenched wounds are inflicted in our formative years, before we are old enough to even understand what is happening.
Once sown, the seeds of self-doubt and criticism take root and sprout continuously, like perennials.
We internalize beliefs that aren’t ours, assume the burden of expectations to be a certain way or become a certain thing, all before we even realize we have choice.
The journey of healing is a journey of shedding those beliefs and expectations. In this journey, we may come to realize that the people who hurt us with criticisms and put-downs are acting out their own pains and self-doubts.
The healing work cannot and does not happen alone.
Our deepest wounds get healed the same way they were inflicted: in relationship.
Time and again on my healing journey I have been reminded of the power of vulnerability and of sharing pain in safe containers within a community.
When we are brave enough to share our wounds, we open space for others to step in and acknowledge their own. This alone is powerful healing.
There is no need to get fancy with tools and techniques. Simplicity is profound. There is great healing power in feeling safe to fully express yourself, and in being seen and heard and witnessed in your essence.
Spaces that are free from judgment, criticism, and the burden of expectations for who you need to be offer profound opportunities for healing.
Each of us can create these spaces for others; we can strive to be those spaces and the mirrors that others need to facilitate their healing.
In the process, we facilitate our own healing.