This is part of a series exploring the seven lower Sephirot (spheres) of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. These spheres are the seven core emotions that drive human interaction.
This week we have been exploring the sphere of Netzach, which is the trait of enduring action.
what is being called from you
pursue that mission
Today is the 28th day of the Omer, the final day of Week 4.
For most of this week I’ve contemplated the nuances of Netzach in the context of my blog and my rigorous perseverance in publishing daily.
Today brings the final nuance: Malchut of Netzach.
Malchut of Netzach speaks to sovereignty, nobility, or mastery of endurance.
But what does that actually mean?
If you’re here looking for answers, I have none to offer. These are my inconclusive musings — the process of trying to figure it out.
Sometimes it seems that endurance is at odds with sovereignty or nobility.
At times I feel like a slave to my commitment to publish a daily blog.
For the past year I have been considering whether to call it a day and end the streak.
I’m tired. I feel like my talents and energy can be better used elsewhere, although I’m not sure where.
And yet something compels me to keep it up. It seems silly to stop until I can articulate why I should stop. It seems silly to put an end to something just because I’m a little tired. So I continue.
I often wonder if I’m making it harder than it needs to be (almost certainly, yes).
There is a part of me that has long believed that everything will break open for me when I muster the courage to speak about the things I fear to express. When I talk about what’s real. When I share more of the process and less of the answers.
We live in a culture that conditions us to believe that value lies in having the answers.
The effort to have it all figured out is exhausting. And it also belies the fact that sometimes the most important part of the process is the questioning.
The part of me that knows this is in tension with the part of me that is still resisting going to those places and opening those doors.
Living Your Purpose
The biblical archetype of Netzach was Moses; a reluctant hero and prophet. He tried to resist God’s call, to claim he wasn’t fit for the task. But ultimately he could not shirk his duty.
Each of us is here for a reason and a purpose— maybe even more than one. There’s nobility in the persistence to find that purpose. Sometimes it requires a meandering path of experiments and experiences before we hear the message.
Once we hear the call, it’s on us to bring our Netzach to pursuing our mission.
There’s no sovereignty when you’re resisting your calling.
Finding Purpose in the Process
The question that I sit with today is whether this commitment is in pursuit of my calling, whether it’s a sophisticated form of resistance, or some hybrid of the two.
Sharing my journey through this blog is my version of practicing in public. It’s a way to open the door slightly, with the hope that my process can serve others in some form. Even if I can’t see how.
Perhaps sharing my process is part of my purpose. Perhaps embracing the nobility of this will create more sovereignty and less oppression.
And maybe the sovereignty comes from acknowledging that I have the power to quit and move on to a new experiment.
Some of the questions I’m holding in this exploration:
- How are you living your purpose?
- Are your goals and mission representing your highest and best self?
- Are you using your gifts and talents to contribute to the world in the way that only you can?