show up with presence
practice active listening
hold space for silence
in each encounter
attune to what is needed
rush in or stand back
This is part of a series on counting the Omer through exploration of the 7 lower spheres of Kabbalistic Tree of Life.
Each week of the Omer is dedicated to one of the seven lower Sephirot on the Tree of Life. Each day of each week is dedicated to exploring one aspect of that week’s sphere.
This week we are exploring the sephirah of Chesed.
Chesed is often translated as loving kindness or love. It is also about giving, acts of care, flow,
Chesed of Chesed: Boundless Flow
Chesed of Chesed, Day 1, was about pure love. Boundless love. Chesed of Chesed has no restraints. It’s giving without limitations.
Sometimes that can feel overwhelming, even threatening, especially if a recipient doesn’t have a container to hold it.
We all want to receive love, but we don’t want to feel suffocated. If you smother someone with love it can become a form of oppression.
This is where Gevurah of Chesed comes in.
Gevurah of Chesed: Restraint in Love
Gevurah of Chesed, Day 2, pulls our focus to the places where we can best express our love or serve others by holding back.
Gevurah is about the strength of restraint. It generally speaks to holding back to create space, rather than jumping right in.
A good example of Gevurah of Chesed is the skill of active listening.
Giving more isn’t always the best option. Sometimes the best approach is not to give at all.
Consider a workplace scenario. You may think you’re being generous by helping your colleague with a task. But if you’re always doing the same task for your colleague you deny them the opportunity to learn how to do it for themselves.
The same type of situation might play out with your kids. Sometimes the best way to give your love is by holding back and letting them figure out how to do something for themselves.
As a healer and teacher, I’m always driven to give more. But I’ve learned that giving too much at once can be counterproductive. Sometimes less is more.
Of course if you hold back too much, you risk that the other person starts to think you don’t care.
Tiferet of Chesed: Attune to What is Needed
Sometimes a situation calls for us to come in with everything we have, no holds barred. Other times it requires us to hold back and restrain our giving.
How do we know which is called for?
This is the work of Day 3, Tiferet of Chesed.
Tiferet is about harmony, beauty and truth. It stitches together Chesed and Gevurah. On the tree of life it is in the middle column, denoting an integration of the two sides.
At Tiferet of Chesed our job is to attune to the situation to feel into what needed. This calls for us to exercise sensory acuity to read the situation. And flexibility to adapt as things change.
Integration
Here are some journaling prompts to help you integrate these concepts.
- Which of these aspects of Chesed feels like your biggest challenge right now?
- Where are places that you tend to over give?
- Where do you hold back too much?
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...