This was my view as I stopped to eat lunch in Hudson River Park on my way home from trampoline practice. I almost didn’t see this. It’s right here, in front of me, and yet I was oblivious to it for about 20 minutes while I was waiting for my salad.
How is that possible?
Because despite an amazing practice (new milestones!), and despite already having completed an early morning workout, going to the bank and Whole Foods, keeping my new morning pages streak alive, and walking 1.5 miles to trampoline — all before 10:30 am — I was caught up in the feeling of “too much to do today.”
I had decided to stop for lunch on my walk home because I was hungry. As I was waiting for my salad, I started to regret the decision. I was in my head mentally planning how I was going to do all the things I want to get done today. I was wondering what was taking so long. I didn’t have time to wait so long to eat.
I have too much to do. I am too busy.
And then the salad was ready and it looked so much nicer than I was expecting and it was clearly made with such care, and immediately I felt bad for wondering “why does it take 20 minutes to make a salad?” — when I didn’t even have to lift a finger to make it.
I sat down at a table to eat it, like a real human being (instead of on the run). I looked up. I saw this view.
Immediately, I realized how foolish I had been. So dumb. That’s not my inner critic, by the way. That’s my inner wisdom.
Because I know better.
I got caught in the trance of being “busy.”
Never mind that it’s freaking Saturday and it’s a day to rest and play. Never mind that this was my first real nourishment of the day (other than a protein bar), and that my body already supported me through more activity than many people get in a week. Never mind that it was only 12:30 pm.
I had allowed myself to be seduced by the myth that “busy” is the goal and that “busy” is good.
Busy is not productive. In fact, the trance of busy is a destructive force.
The trance of busy destroys the quality of our lives and our experiences.
It fools us into believing that what is urgent is important, and this belief causes us to miss out on what is truly important.
Here is what I lost while I was caught up in the trance of busy:
I spent 20 minutes in my head, trying to rationalize why it was “okay” for me to stop and take time to eat lunch after my full morning. I was so caught up in thinking through how I would spend the rest of my day that I wasn’t present here, in this place where I was now. I wasn’t in my experience.
I was so caught up in my head that I didn’t see the spectacular view that was literally right in front of me.
I could have spent that time appreciating this view. I could have spent even a few moments appreciating the fact that I could appreciate this view while somebody else made my salad. And appreciating that someone was willing to do this. And that I can afford to pay someone to do this. And so much more.
I really do know better.
A Process of Growth
I decided I would not berate myself for this. I’m human. This is a part of the growing process.
Sometimes we forget.
At least this time I was shaken from my trance before it was too late to course-correct.
Before my first bite, I stopped to take in the view. I paused to reflect on my gratitude: for a healthful meal, for the person who prepared it for me, for this gorgeous, warm day on the real last weekend of summer, for my body that supported me in 2 workouts fueled only by a protein bar. And for the internal, unconscious trigger that shocked me out of my trance of busy while I still had time to get off of that runaway train.
I ate my salad, as I enjoyed this view. I was present to every bite.
When I finished, I sat on a step and watched the people around me. I felt the warm sun hit my skin. I appreciated the view. And I reminded myself that “busy” is a most unproductive place to be.
I took this picture to remind myself that this is what we lose when we fall into the trance of busy.
What has the trance of busy cost you? What is something that you believe you are “too busy” to do?
Here’s my challenge to you: Go out and do that thing. Today. Now.
Then come back here and share what it was and how you felt after doing it.
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