What Facts Define You?

I’m a week away from my 50th birthday, a milestone that is provoking a lot of reflection.

As part of my birthday plans, I thought it would be fun to compile a list of 50 things to know about me. As a bonus, this would be a great way to re-introduce myself after over 6 months away from social media.

There are, of course, way more than 50 facts I can share about myself. The question is:

What’s the story I want to tell through sharing these facts?

And also,

How am I defining myself by the facts I choose to share?

How We Define Ourselves

The facts we choose to focus on define us to ourselves. They shape the narratives that we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of.

They also help others get to know parts of us. Others use these facts to define us.

This is true with what we share on social media, in person, in a memoir, and in documents like résumés.

We define ourselves not only by the stories we tell, but also by the facts we remember and repeat.

A résumé can tell a different story depending on what experience you highlight.

A bio tells a different story depending on what we include.

The Facts Shape the Story

It’s also true of what we read in the news.

The stories we read and infer — are shaped by what facts are presented. They are equally shaped by what facts are left out.

As my teacher Nevine Michaan often says, What you see is true; what you don’t see is also true.

It’s helpful to remember this before we cement our assumptions about situations and people.

What we see is not the full picture. It’s a selection of facts from which we create a narrative.

There are always pieces of the story we aren’t seeing: facts left on the cutting room floor either intentionally or inadvertently.

Even where all the facts are true, they are not the full story.

The story we tell ourselves and others starts with the facts we choose to include.