“Going With the Flow” is Not as Passive as You Think

You probably know at least one person who shows up at a party and, before they’ve even taken off their coat, announce that they can’t stay long because they need to leave soon to get to their next event.

In some area of your life, you might even be that person.

We’re Always Trying to Arrive

We are always trying to arrive somewhere.

We want to get to the next goal, the next level, the next achievement.

We’re constantly anticipating the next thing, the next move, the next step.

Sometimes we set our sights on the next thing before we’ve even arrived at the initial destination.

The Discomfort of “The Gap”

The place between where we are now and where we want to be feels uncomfortable.

It’s not a place where we enjoy hanging out.

It feels like we’re nowhere.

The names we give to that place — the Gap, the In-Between — reinforce that this is not a place in which we want to linger.

Entire industries have been born out of our desire to shorten the time in that space, to help us create a better bridge from where we are to where we want to be.

But what if this space — this in-between — isn’t a waiting room?

What if it’s a place of its own, a destination in itself?

What if we could just be here—not always trying to arrive?

What if what we need is not bridge to cross the river, but a raft that allows us to go with the flow of the river?

The Myth of Going With the Flow

What’s your reaction when someone tells you to “go with the flow?”

Do you roll your eyes and shake your head? Do you think they just don’t get it?

Do you secretly judge people who “go with the flow” for being passive and reactionary?

If you’re ambitious and driven, “going with the flow” can feel anathema to everything you believe you need to do to succeed.

Cultural conditioning instills the belief that we must take control: that we have to be the one making the decisions, calling the shots. We live in a world of drivers.

Going with the flow seems passive. It puts us at the mercy of a river, whose currents we cannot control.

It sounds like giving up, like surrendering, like floating aimlessly with no direction.

To be sure, it can be.

But it doesn’t have to be.

Flow Is an Active Choice

In its ideal implementation, going with the flow isn’t passive — it’s an entirely different way of leading.

It’s about listening to a deeper wisdom: a higher-knowing part of you that already knows the right move without analyzing — or over analyzing — every possible path and outcome.

Going with the flow is about paying attention to the signals of your body more than the fluctuations of your mind.

It’s about staying in the present.

And it’s about trusting the deep knowing that is guiding you, rather than deciding.

Decisions Are About the Future

Here’s the thing about decisions:

Decisions are always about the future.

Decisions are always about the future.

Sometimes that future action is tomorrow, next week, or next month — Should I go to that event? What should I do with my life? Where should I focus my attention this quarter?

Sometimes that future action is immediate: should I turn left or continue straight?

Every decision, big or small, is about predicting an outcome. And outcomes are unpredictable. The only thing we can truly control are our actions.

Which means that as long as we are deciding, we are not fully in the present.

True presence lives in doing.

Moving Without Deciding

The real shift happens when we stop thinking about every possibility and just move.

You get in the car and drive.
You step onto the street and walk.
You open the computer and write.
You pick up the phone and make the calls.
You walk up to the person at the party and introduce yourself.

Rather than pausing — even for a micro-second — to consider whether to cross the street or turn the corner, you just flow.

You trust yourself enough to let something deeper guide you.

This is flow state.

Decisions Are a Barrier to Action

Admittedly, this is easier said than done.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Decisions are often a barrier to action.

When I get caught up in deciding, I often end up tangled in a web of ideas and ideas. Second-guessing creeps in. An endless weighing of options leads to more indecision, not less. All of this leaves me drained of the energy I need to fuel action.

On the other hand, when I follow my deeper guidance—when I don’t overthink, when I just go—I always end up exactly where I need to be.

Often the outcome is better than I could have predicted or expected. Sometimes it’s like doors are magically opening.

Going With the Flow is Not Passive

Going with the flow is not sitting back and doing nothing. It’s not letting life happen to you.

It’s being in such deep alignment that you don’t have to stop and decide.

You know. You trust. You act.

You are still the driver; you’re just driving in a different way.

Where Are You Resisting Flow?

Where in your life are you overthinking decisions because you don’t trust yourself to just move?

What would happen if, just for a moment, you stopped trying to arrive—and let yourself fully be where you are?

Maybe there’s more freedom in that than you think.