You spent months working on a project or presentation, or preparing for a big milestone moment or family event. Finally, the big day comes. You’re riding the high of your accomplishments, basking in the glow of adulation, feeling connected to your friends, family, colleagues, teammates, or audience.
And then, it’s over.
The crowd disperses. The materials from the event are packed up. And you’re left with a gaping hole in your schedule: all the time blocks you dedicated to preparation and planning are suddenly open.
Suddenly you’re in a space of emptiness. This is the Post-Event Blues. You might feel sad, depressed, and lonely. You might even feel grief.
What do you do now?
Here are 7 strategies to navigate the Post-Event Blues and move forward.
7 Strategies to Navigate the Post-Event Blues
(1) Recognize That This is Normal
Appreciate that your body and emotions are recalibrating.
When we have a big event, the body releases hormones and neurotransmitters. In the lead up, cortisol, the stress hormone, triggers our fight-or-flight response to help us narrow our focus, tune out external noise, and pull the project across the finish line.
On the day of the event we might feel excited and euphoric, thanks to the endorphins coursing through our bodies.
When the event is over, all those chemicals leave the body, creating a feeling of withdrawal.
Any parts of life that you put on hold to finish the project are now calling you to come back to reality.
It’s a moment of transition: like the changing of the seasons, the ending of a job, the move to a new home. Sometimes even the end of a regular day can trigger this feeling of sadness and grief.
Recognizing that this is normal can help you avoid going down the rabbit hole of thinking that something is wrong with you because you are feeling sad after such a joyful moment.
This is how our systems work.
(2) Allow the Emptiness
You spent a long time working toward this. You put in a lot of effort. It was a big part of your life — a major focal point. Now that it’s over, it’s natural to feel some emptiness.
In a culture that conditions us to constantly focus on “what’s next,” being in the space of emptiness can feel “wrong.” You might be hearing your inner voice (or some outer voices) telling you to “move on” and “get back to real life.”
Following those voices would be a mistake.
When we rush to move to the next thing, we often don’t take time to fully integrate the thing that we just did — and we miss the harvest of the magic and the lessons of the experience.
Don’t you deserve to fully harvest the fruit of your labor?
Give yourself a day — maybe even a few days — to be in the space of the in-between: a space to reflect and harvest all that occurred before setting your sights on what’s next.
If you ever felt, in those moments of extreme elation, I wish I could bottle this feeling and save it forever, this is where that happens.
(3) Create a Post-Event Ritual
Some events, like weddings, bat mitzvahs, big holiday celebrations, or big work projects, bring together lots of people. Although at times you might long for the solitude away from the crowds, when everyone suddenly disperses, it can leave a big void.
To ease the transition and temper the sudden endorphin crash, consider planning in advance a post-event ritual to bring together the inner circle after the main event.
This past weekend my family celebrated my nieces’ bat mitzvahs. The next morning, my brother-in-law’s parents hosted a farewell brunch for the out-of-town guests. Later that day, our immediate family gathered for a casual dinner at my sister’s house to eat leftovers, and “debrief” the weekend.
These “bonus day” family activities kept us in the spirit of the festivities without the big boost of endorphins that came from the actual event. It allowed for a tapering of the high rather than a dramatic crash.
If your big event is work related, you might consider a team dinner or outing to celebrate the achievement and recap the experience. The smaller, intimate gathering also creates a space for some of the other strategies that are described below.
(4) Reflect on and Record the Good Things
Our minds tend to look for evidence that matches our emotions. When we are in the euphoric high of the endorphin rush, we see the event through rose-colored glasses. Everything about the event and our performance was amazing.
When we feel sad and depressed, or are in the throes of grief, we see all the things that went wrong.
One consequence of the Post-Event Blues is that it can lead us to start to pick apart all of the things that went wrong at the event or things we didn’t do.
To counter this natural tendency, focus on the good parts. Focusing on the good — and what you’re grateful for — helps keep the brain bathing in the feel-good chemicals, countering some of the Post-Event Blues.
Some questions to consider:
- What went well? What worked?
- What did you love about the event?
- What were your personal “wins” from the event?
- Who did you connect with?
- What positive reactions did you receive from people in the immediate aftermath of the event?
Put it in Writing and Share It
Don’t just reflect on this in your mind. Write it down. Recording it in writing will help you remember it better and allow you to reference it in the future. You can type up a list in a document or in the notes app on your phone, but writing it by hand in a journal or on a sheet of paper will help you physically integrate this into your body.
For extra integration and endorphin boosts, share these reflections with others who were involved in the event.
TIP: This is a great thing to do at your post-event dinner or farewell brunch.
(5) Reflect on and Record Your Magic Moments
When we remember the past, we don’t remember full days; we remember moments. The moments we remember don’t have to be left to chance: we can decide on them while the event is fresh in our minds.
This is a practice I do as part of my Daily Recap ritual, my year-end review, and after any big event.
Within the context of your week, month, or year, a special event like a bat mitzvah or a wedding, or even a big performance or presentation, might feel like one magic moment.
But the true magic is in the smaller mini-moments.
When you think back on this event, you will likely think about certain moments within the event as the true “magic moments.”
Challenge yourself to get specific. What are the standout “snapshot moments” that you would put into your “event album”?
The magic moments may not even involve you.
For example, two of my magic moments from my nieces’ bat mitzvah include their speeches to each other at their party and watching them do a fun father/daughter dance that one of my nieces choreographed.
(6) Reflect on What You Learned
One of the ways we get better in life is by applying the lessons of our experience to the next experience.
If your big event was a presentation, the applicable lessons might be obvious and directly related to your next presentation.
But don’t discount the value of pulling out lessons even if the big event is a “once-in-a-lifetime” moment. In that case, the lessons may be more about your process than the outcome.
For example, my nieces won’t have another bat mitzvah, but they’ll embark on other endeavors where the lessons from this event will be useful.
Consider your preparation. Sometimes at the outset of a long journey to a big goal, we wonder:
- How will I find the time to prepare?
- Will I be able to do this?
Once you get to the other side, it can be useful to reflect back and note how you made it happen.
- Where did you create time?
- What inner resources did you tap into do get it done?
- What support did you have in the process?
- What challenges did you have, and how did you navigate them?
This is also a place to look at what didn’t go as well as you would have liked, and what you learned from that. What strategies can you use next time to make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes?
(7) Set Your Next Goal
The mind and psyche likes to have something to look forward to.
If you already have “what’s next” lined up, consider whether that’s still the right next move in light of what you have learned from this event. Maybe your reflection on this event will lead you down a different path.
If you didn’t yet have a next goal in mind, give yourself some time to digest this event and be in the mystery before randomly jumping into what you think is the next goal.
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