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You are here: Home / Collections / 12 Lessons From Passover’s Four Children

12 Lessons From Passover’s Four Children

April 28, 2024 | Renée Fishman

Passover is a holiday focused on teaching and learning. The Old Testament contains four separate places where it commands Jews to teach their children the story of the Exodus. Based on those passages, the authors of the Passover Haggadah created a narrative construct of four children.

They labeled these archetypal children as Wise, Wicked, Simple, and the One Who Does Not Know How to Ask.

The archetypal four children at the Seder are a treasure trove of metaphor and lessons that extend beyond the Passover holiday.

Among other things, these archetypes enlighten us about the way we label others, the wisdom that each person brings to the table, the ways to approach teaching different students, the process of learning, and the various ways resistance shows up along the learning journey.

Here’s a round-up of essays I’ve published over the past decade that explore these themes and the lessons we can learn from them.

Where Labels Come From — and How They Shape Identity

(1) The labels we give to children can confer an identity on them that they carry with them for much of their lives, but where do they come from?

The Wisdom of Each Child

Each of the four children has their own flavor of wisdom.

(2) The Wise Child teaches us a valuable lesson on effective ways to create change from within or from outside an organization.

(3) The Wicked Child reminds us that we need healthy skeptics to drive innovation, ferret out fraud, and keep a check on unmitigated puffery and false promises. The Wicked or rebellious child causes us to consider how we respond to people who disrupt the status quo.

(4) It’s also relevant to consider what makes the “Wicked Child” so wicked). It may have nothing to do with the child or their questions. It might have to do with something not even about the child at all.

(5) Complicated questions might appear to be smart, but the Simple Child teaches us about the wisdom in simplicity, and the dangers of over-complicating things.

(6) There is danger in assuming something about a person based on their silence. The Child Who Does Not Ask may may not be ignorant at all. In fact, they may be the wisest person at the table.

(7) Many scholars say that there’s a fifth child who isn’t actually at the seder. But what if the “missing” child isn’t missing at all? That child is there, but can only be seen by those who perceive it.

Archetypes in the Learning Process

The archetypes of the four children also teach us about the learning process and how to be better students and teachers, coaches, parents, and leaders.

(8) For example, the four children correspond to the 4 stages in the conscious competence model.

(9) They also highlight 4 ways questions facilitate the learning process.

(10) The achetypal children correlate to the 5 stages of the learning process and the various ways resistance tends to surface at each stage.

Instructions on How to Teach and Coach Effectively

Finally, the dialogue with the four children provides a useful guideline for how to teach and coach more effectively.

(11) The instructions on how to answer the childrens’ questions or initiate the teachings with each child teach us how to engage a student in the learning process

(12) They also are instructive guidance in how to be a more effective coach, trainer, teacher, or leader.

Can You Befriend Each Archetype Within Yourself?

It’s easy to think you might be more like one of these archetypes than the others, but we have all of them within us. Can you identify when and how each of the archetypes shows up within you?

Can you befriend them all?

That’s the true work of Passover.

Which Is Your Favorite?

Which essay resonates most with you? Share in the comments, or share that essay on social media and tag me!

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Filed Under: Collections, Holidays, Learning Tagged With: Four Children, four sons, Haggadah, holidays, learning, lessons, Passover, round-up, teaching

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