You know how you have days when you don’t want to get out of bed and go to the gym?

Most people I know have those days.

I don’t really know that feeling.

Putting my workout as first in my day is the thing that makes me want to get up and out of bed.

Especially since I found the current gym where I’ve been training for about the past year.

For almost a full year, I’ve been getting up before dawn eager to get to the gym.

First, it was the Burn classes, a high intensity interval class. I felt a pull to get up early to come for the 5:45 am class.

From there I started to get into CrossFit. I started waking up even earlier to make it to the 5:30 am class.

Starting my week at 5:30 am CrossFit has been a highlight for me of the past few months.

So when I started my week by turning off my alarm and getting back into bed, it was a sign for me that something is off.

I don’t hit snooze out of habit. The alarm is across the room. Getting back into bed was a choice, and I own my decision to sleep an extra hour.

This is something I rarely do, especially on a Monday morning.

The Legitimate Reasons

It’s easy to make excuses and say “I’m tired,” or “I needed the rest.”

To be clear, those can be valid reasons to change up a routine.

Sleep is as important as work. Sleep is where we recover.

Here’s where it gets complicated:

It might even be true that I need more sleep and that I needed to rest.

What’s Really Going On

AND that reason is also a handy excuse that masks what’s really going on: resistance.

Resistance doesn’t always show up in a form of visible “fear” or “I don’t want to do that thing.”

Sometimes — most of the time, in fact — resistance shows up in a form that looks like a “legitimate” reason not to do the thing, especially to someone on the outside.

You’re busy. You’re tired. You have a lot going on. There are complicated factors.

You might even find people willing to articulate those reasons for you. I write a lot about the importance of rest; I know how crucial it is.

Resistance’s Mask of Legitimacy

The tricky part about resistance is that it often wears a mask of legitimacy. The reasons it gives us for not doing something sound valid. They check out. They are true and real.

But here’s the thing: deep down, you know.

This is where self-awareness is so crucial. Ultimately, you’re the one who knows yourself the best. Only you can know whether your reason is a mask for resistance.

Was I tired? Yes… AND also:

The fatigue itself was at least partly driven by resistance.

I know myself very well. I know when my fatigue is real fatigue and when my fatigue is a mask of resistance.

One way I know is my desire.

Earlier this year, when I had COVID, I was physically and mentally exhausted. I was forced to stay out of the gym for a few days and it felt like torture.

I had no energy to workout, but I wanted to. I grieved the loss of my energy. I returned to the gym as soon as I was cleared, even though I wasn’t yet back to 100 percent.

In the fall, when I got an infection in my toe, I was in so much pain. The doctor encouraged me to take time off, but I wouldn’t hear of it. I found ways to exercise despite the limitations presented by my toe.

When I injured my other foot, I did upper body conditioning.

I was motivated by desire.

This time, when I turned off the alarm and went back to bed, I could feel that it wasn’t just fatigue.

It’s only when we can be honest with ourselves that we can work with what’s under the surface.

I’m emotionally fatigued. In the gym, and in other areas, my consistent daily efforts aren’t showing me results right now. Everything feels extra hard. And it’s sending me into a crisis of self-doubt and despair.

The Burn and CrossFit classes that left me feeling capable and confident just a few weeks ago are now leaving me feeling a sense of futility.

I feel an overarching malaise, like “what’s the point?”

I’ve felt that way in my creative work too.

I’m floundering in my search for meaning and purpose.

I’m having a crisis of confidence.

All of these things can impact motivation and drive. And also it could be a factor of other causes too.

At some point it’s less relevant what’s causing the resistance and more important that we simply recognize what’s happening.

How to Work With Resistance

Here’s what I know:

Resistance won’t go away on its own. And it won’t go away by avoiding what we’re avoiding.

I got out of bed an hour later and I did what I do:

I went to the gym.

And then I took the CrossFit class I had been avoiding, because I knew I would feel worse about myself if I didn’t do it.

I’m not going to tell you it was a magic cure. Maybe my approach won’t work for you.

I also can’t say that I felt better about myself after class.

What I can say is that I showed up for myself, despite the resistance.

That’s the big win on any day.

And it’s the consistency in taking action that yields insights and that helps put the resistance in its place.