I do not like the ski erg machine at the gym.
Every time I do it, I feel like I’m pushing a boulder uphill. It’s a lot of effort that gets me nowhere. The meters advance slowly, and the calorie count is even slower to creep up.
When you say you don’t like to do something, what’s behind that sentiment?
This is a question few people actively investigate for themselves.
How We Distance Ourselves From What We “Don’t Like”
It seems our default pattern as human beings is to distance ourselves from the things we don’t like to do.
There are countless ways we put walls between ourselves and what we don’t like.
We might actively avoid them.
We might come up with reasons why doing those things is “stupid” or a “waste of time.”
We might simply decide that “it’s not my thing.”
We might decide we’re not good at them.
All of these stories increase resistance to actually doing the thing.
What We Mean When We Say “I Don’t Like This”
For most people, the comment that you “don’t like” something or “it’s not my thing” really means one of these:
- I don’t know how to do it.
- I don’t do it well.
- I’m not confident in my skills or technique.
It’s very rare to find someone who is proficient or masterful at something who doesn’t like doing it.[1]
Simply acknowledging this fact takes a lot less energy than the stories we create that keep us further distanced from the thing.
Two Approaches For Dealing With What We Dislike
Here are two approaches for how I can deal with my dislike of the ski erg.
*Option 1*: I can create a story about how I don’t need to know how to do the ski erg and why it’s a waste of a piece of equipment. And who really needs to do the ski erg anyway?
*Option 2*: I can admit that I don’t like the ski erg because I don’t do it well and don’t know the right technique to be efficient at it.
Which approach feels better to you? Which feels lighter?
The first approach keeps me in a limiting story that only creates resistance to getting on the ski erg. I may be successful for a while in avoiding the ski erg, but eventually it will appear in a workout and I’ll be no better at it.
The second approach opens the door for me to seek out help in learning or improving my technique.
The ski erg isn’t going anywhere; it’s going to show up in workouts.
When I approach it objectively, I can acknowledge that it’s actually a useful machine. It’s one of the few (if not the only) cardio machines that works the upper body.
The energy spent resisting it by creating stories about why I don’t need it or why I’m not good at it is better spent on other endeavors. It’s more efficient to admit where I’m lacking skills and get support in learning those skills.
What Are You Resisting?
The ski erg is a silly and inconsequential example that might make it easier to see this issue objectively.
We play out this same pattern in many realms with greater consequences: important life skills, people, projects, tasks.
Getting curious about what we “don’t like” or why we’ve decided something “is not for me” opens the door to dissipating the resistance.
Self-honesty is a radical step.
- Not that this can’t happen. We can be highly skilled at something and decide it no longer interests us. If that’s the case, great. Own it. Here, I’m focused on the other side of that issue, which is more common. ↩
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