I once heard advice that when you go to someone’s house for dinner you should not bring fresh flowers for your hostess unless they are already arranged in a vase.
The reason given was that the hostess is likely busy finalizing the meal and may not have a vase ready.
You’ve done a nice thing to bring flowers, but you’ve created more work for the host who now must stop what she’s doing and find a vase.
The best hostess gift is a gift that doesn’t create more work for the hostess.
The lesson here applies to all forms of giving, whether it’s a tangible gift, advice, information, or teaching:
Consider the recipient’s needs and state of mind in the moment.
When teaching or offering advice or information, attune to where your recipient is, and what level of knowledge they have, so that you give them what they can absorb.
When we give a gift, it feels best when the gift is appreciated.
The curse of knowledge is that we often don’t realize how much we know. We take for granted much of what we know; we assume that if we have heard something several times that other people have also heard it.
Over-giving can leave the recipient feeling overwhelmed and the giver feeling depleted.
Often, less is more.
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