Embrace Your Darkness

when in a dark place
allow yourself to be there
embrace how it is

Sometimes we fall into dark places. Perhaps you feel hopeless. You don’t know what’s coming. You maybe don’t even know what you want, where you want to go.

That’s hard enough on its own.

And then it becomes harder when you start judging it. Or listen to others who judge it. We live in a culture that doesn’t tolerate much darkness.

The spiritual community tells you to seek the light.

The personal development community tells you to embrace positive thinking.

Be grateful. Forgive. Meditate. Exercise. Volunteer.

All the things.

Now you’re saddled with all the shoulds.

The ways you should feel. The things you should do to make you feel better.

The best way to ensure you stay in that dark place is to accept that pile of shoulds.

Or you can feel free to reject them and lean into the darkness.

Nobody says you need to light a candle.

Sometimes the best way to deal with darkness is to sink into it.

Three caveats to this:

1. Don’t stay here permanently.
2. Don’t make any major life decisions from this place.
3. Don’t believe the stories of your mind when you’re in the darkness.

And here’s the thing: if you really lean in, you’ll find that it’s not going to be permanent.

The moment you think “I shouldn’t feel like this” or “I should exercise/meditate/be grateful” you’re in resistance to what is.

And that’s the best way to extend your time in the darkness.

Here’s another thing to know: anyone who tells you they never experience darkness is lying.

Be with the emotion without being in the story will also help you move through more quickly.

It’s the story that keeps you stuck, not the emotion.

You don’t need a story or a reason why you feel what you feel. Just feel it. Embrace it.

It’s just a wave. It will move through.