Between the pandemic and the election, living in the mystery has been the theme of 2020.
I’ve had plenty of practice with living in the mystery, but I’ve noticed lately a resistance arising in my work that hits a related issue: it’s a resistance to incompleteness, to letting something remain unresolved.
This discomfort with incompleteness is where the skills of being in the mystery and resting in enoughness overlap.
This often arises when I’m writing a blog post and sometimes in my coaching practice: I can feel my resistance to resting in the enoughness of asking a question without offering guidance or conclusions. Underneath this discomfort is a fear that unless I offer a resolution or solution, my contribution is not enough.
It’s a resistance to causing others to be in the mystery.
The desire to offer solutions is a natural instinct. Ironically, I’ve noticed is that when I strive to make everything complete, when I attempt to deliver the lessons or guidance wrapped up in a bow, I often end up diluting my intended message or I restrict the space in the coaching container.
This deprives my readers and clients of the journey of reaching their own conclusions, and of accessing their own wisdom.
It also deprives them of the opportunity to build the muscle of sitting in the mystery and getting comfortable with the unknown.
You can’t build a muscle by knowing about the concepts; you have to put it into practice.
My practice is to get comfortable with incompleteness: to rest in the enoughness of asking potent questions without providing answers or context that dilutes my message.
More broadly, the practice is to trust that everything will eventually be resolved, even if I don’t provide the resolution.