Meet Yourself Where You Are

We are now six weeks into quarantine in many parts of the country, maybe more depending on where you live. Even as talk begins of easing shut-downs, this is far from over. It will not be over even when businesses reopen.

This is where it starts getting real.

The emotions you feel about homeschooling your kids, challenges in your work, the relationships on edge from living in close quarters — those are real.

It is ok to feel angry and frustrated and at your edge. Everyone is feeling this some of the time.

There are many people who are telling you what you can be doing now to prepare for after, so you’re ready for what’s next.

You want a skill to practice to get you through this and prepare for after? Here’s one that is not on any of the lists I’ve seen:

Meet yourself where you are.

Honor what you’re feeling, and what’s coming up. That’s the way through.

It’s the only way through.

There will be days when nothing goes according to plan. Your kids don’t want to sit at the computer for Zoom school. You don’t understand their assignments. You didn’t even get to your work until late in the day and by then you couldn’t see straight. You made popcorn for dinner.

It’s all ok.

Maybe you didn’t even have a plan. That’s ok too.

There might be moments when the walls feel like they are caving in, when you want to sledgehammer your way through them. When you are angry at everyone and everything and this invisible virus that is uprooting your life.

Honor those moments.

Meet yourself where you are.

Are there ways you can turn it around with positivity or gratitude? Sure. If that’s what’s right for you in that moment.

But also let’s acknowledge something real here:

Sometimes you might not want to be positive. You may not want to be grateful in that moment.

Some days the Instagram inspo is just annoying, those “inspirational quotes” insipid and uninspired.

That’s ok.

Meet yourself where you are.

This is not an easy skill to master. Everyone fails at it every day. The longest-practicing meditators, the most evolved yogis and spiritual leaders. Everyone.

It is our human nature to fall into judgment and comparison, shame and blame, depression and despair.

What helps us shifts this state is not wellness tips and positive memes, but being with it. The way out is through.

The best wellness tip I’ve found is self-compassion. It will serve you better than an hour on Instagram.

This is mindfulness: being attentive and aware of what is happening within you — the thoughts and emotions as well as the physical sensations of the body. All of it.

We live in a culture that encourages us to sweep the uncomfortable feelings under the rug. Now the rug has been pulled out from under us, and everything that has been swept under it has been exposed.

It’s swirling in the air, like a big dust storm. Or shit-storm.

You can expect to inhale some of that dust.

Whatever arises, however you feel, know that it’s ok.

Welcome it. It belongs here.

Meet yourself where you are.

And also know that getting on the floor into child’s pose is always an option — for you and your kids.