Yesterday I had a “a day.” I was in a funk. Feeling unproductive, and unmotivated, and lonely.
My inner comparison queen has been out in full force lately. In turn, I noticed that I was hyper-critical of everything I saw from others, cutting them down in my own mind even if not externally with my comments.
That’s not who I am, and I didn’t like that version of myself.
It was no surprise that I felt lonely, unsupported in my work, me against the world.
All of my shadows were coming out to play.
Instead of running away from what I was feeling or judging myself for it, I leaned in. Sitting by the beach, watching the waves, I explored my emotions with curiosity — holding space and showing myself the compassion that I would offer to a dear friend.
I surrendered. I allowed. I witnessed.
Full Moon Energy
The timing was perfect. This is the energy of the full moon, a time to illuminates what’s in the shadows.
Astrologer Chani Nicholas explains that the full moon in Aquarius brings perspective.
Aquarius is a cool-headed, even-tempered air sign, who values a fair assessment of a situation above all else. Not one to get embroiled in emotional ups and downs, Aquarius prefers to sit a little further from the stage so it can take in all the characters of a play fairly and accurately. Being able to witness, but not be fully enmeshed in, our emotional process is what makes healing possible. It aids in our ability to allow more love, affection, and connection into our lives
Holding Space and Being the Witness
Anything we don’t want to feel remains in the shadow, where it works to sabotage us. The full moon energy is a perfect time for these shadows to come out. By bringing them into the light of awareness, allowing them to emerge, and witnessing them, we disintegrate their power over us — it’s like pouring water on the Wicked Witch of the West.
As I sat by the ocean, I reminded myself that these were just waves, and they would pass. And they did.
I didn’t need cheering up, or any feel-good affirmations. I didn’t need to be fixed. There was nothing wrong.
We have a range of emotions because we are meant to feel them all. That’s what makes us human.
By stepping back to witness my emotions with compassionate curiosity, I was able to create space for healing and move through the emotions.
Within a few hours, I was back home to myself.