Why Patience is So Hard

Today’s episode of My Circus Life was about patience, and why it’s so hard.

Patience in Trampoline and Trapeze

The very first principle you learn on the flying trapeze is that rushing doesn’t get you your outcome faster. In fact, it makes the trick more difficult.

The first trick you learn is a knee hang. If you try to lift your legs to hook your knees on the bar too early, you will not get them up. It doesn’t matter how strong you are. It’s physics. Laws of gravity apply. You’ve got to wait until the peak of the swing.

Patience in Life

The same laws of physics apply to life.

There might be times where we believe we can outsmart the natural laws of the universe to reach our result faster. But the latest fad diet, buying followers on Instagram, and other shortcuts don’t give us sustainable results.

When we rush, or try to shortcut, we experience more resistance in getting to our outcome. Often, it puts us farther away.

Patience in Sales & Marketing

Patience is one of the 7 Ps of Powerful Selling, my framework for sales and marketing. It’s crucial to exercise patience in any sales or negotiation process.

Sellers often want to sell quickly, so they feel a rush to get their home listed “ASAP.” But rushing to the market before you’re ready or at the wrong time can put you at a disadvantage. Listing your home quickly doesn’t mean you’ll sell more quickly. In fact, listing at the wrong time can hurt your ability to sell for the highest price and in the shortest time frame.

In negotiations, the side who can be more patient has a distinct advantage.

Why We Struggle with Patience

We know patience is an important quality. Yet so often we struggle to exercise it.

Patience falls into that category of thing that we know we should do, but often don’t.

Why?

Here are 3 reasons.

Fear.

We don’t trust. If something isn’t happening on the timeline we desire, we begin to believe it won’t happen. The fact that you’re not yet seeing results doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path. It only means your expectation of when things should happen is different from the reality of when they will happen.

In front tucks, when I rush I can compensate, but it’s not as smooth. It requires more energy to rush.

Patience requires trust.

Ego.

We want things to happen on our timeline. We think we can override the natural pace by working harder or going faster. But this doesn’t work in the long term. The problem is that sometimes it appears to work in the short term, so we have the illusion that we defied gravity.

If I sweep too early I can muscle in the trick. But as the level of trick gets more difficult, I can’t muscle it the same way.

Same thing in life.

Patience requires humility. The more you can accept that you don’t control the plan, the more you will be able to exercise patience.

Discomfort.

Patience requires us to be in the uncomfortable place where we see the result we want but it’s not yet in our reach.

We often resort to doing more because moving at least makes us feel busy and productive. When we are moving, we have the illusion of momentum. We are uncomfortable doing nothing.

A real estate agent may run around with a buyer, showing the client dozens of homes rather than honing in on what they really desire and holding space while they wait for that thing. Because you if you’re always sending them emails or taking them on tours, you think they you think this will help you close them faster. It won’t.

Patience requires us to be in the realm of the uncomfortable. You have to be willing to be with the unknown and embrace uncertainty.

A masterful negotiator knows that silence and delay can be one of the best negotiating strategies.

When one side is eager to “just get it done” they will often bid against themselves or react too quickly to accept an offer before allowing the other side to respond.

Patience requires getting comfortable in the uncomfortable spaces.

Again, the more you can trust that things will work out as they are meant to, and the more you can accept that what it looks like when things work out may not look like what you envisioned, the easier it will be to be comfortable in the space of uncertainty.