The Biggest Mistake You’re Making When Trying to Write About a Personal Experience

In the early days of my blog, I had difficulty publishing consistently. My intention was to share lessons from my personal experiences, but even when I started with a clear end in mind, I’d get stuck in the process. I often got lost in the looping of my own thoughts, unsure how to frame the experience in a way that would be helpful.

Sometimes, the process of “writing to figure it out,” didn’t help me figure anything out. It just muddied the waters.

Eventually I noticed that I encountered the greatest difficulty when trying to write about a situation that was still ongoing, especially if that situation was the cause of trauma or discomfort.

This led to one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my 12 years of publishing a blog:

You can’t write about something while you’re still in it.

Writing about a situation while you’re still in it is like trying to describe a tornado from inside the cyclone.

Remember Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, spinning around in her house as it gets tossed in the tornado? The furniture is moving everywhere. Nothing is anchored or grounded. She doesn’t really even know what’s happening, other than the obvious that they must be caught up inside the cyclone.

That house is what our nervous system is like when we are in the midst of a traumatic upheaval.

You can’t fully process an upheaval until you’ve landed, the dust has settled, and you’ve found your way back home.

You need to complete the journey of the yellow brick road to have perspective.

I’ve found that this also includes my own private journaling.

Trying to describe a tornado from inside the storm just kicks up more dust and prolongs the trauma.

As much as you might be inclined to write about your experience while it’s happening, it likely won’t serve you.

I’ve found that if I wait until the dust settles, I get a lot better perspective, more clarity, and the words come with more ease.