Several weeks ago, my CrossFit gym got a cold plunge tub. Cold plunges are the new trend in wellness and recovery. My Instagram feed was filled with videos of people doing cold plunges in their backyards.
I had no interest in even learning about this trend.
Even when I swim, I like the water to be on the warm side. At least when the water is cold, I’m moving so I eventually warm up. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to put themselves in a cold tub water.
Nothing about it appealed to me.
I was a clear “no, thanks.”
Gradually, as people in the gym started doing the cold plunge, I got curious about it. I asked them about their experience. I still had no interest in doing it myself.
Then one day, I found myself asking the manager at the gym and people who were doing it about the logistics involved.
- Did I need an appointment, or could I just come at any time?
- When was the best time to do the cold plunge?
- How long did they stay in the water?
My questions revealed that something was shifting for me about it.
A few weeks ago, as I was getting ready to go to the gym, I noticed I was thinking about whether to do the cold plunge that day. I was considering the logistics around my schedule and when would be the best time to do it.
That was the moment that revealed to me that I had made a fundamental shift:
I had decided that I was going to do it.
Even though I didn’t do it that day, even though I still had no firm plan around when to do it, I had decided.
But decisions only get you so far.
From there, it was a matter of committing.
One day last week, I brought my swimsuit and towel to the gym, so I could be prepared to do the plunge.
That action revealed a commitment, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t do the plunge that day.
Commitment isn’t enough. I needed resolve.
Similar to what I used to do when I would swim for my workouts, resolve came when I put my swimsuit on before I left the house.
Wearing the swimsuit under my clothes meant that I was resolved. I was going to take the plunge before my workout.
And that’s what I did.
(I’ll share more about the cold plunge in a different essay.)
This story because it illustrates a fundamental difference between what it means to decide versus commit versus resolve, and how to know where you are in that progression.
Decide vs Commit vs Resolve
If you work in any type of sales capacity, understanding what’s keeping your prospect stuck is crucial.
And in your own life, knowing where you’re getting stuck is half the battle to getting unstuck.
What you might believe to be “indecision” may not really be indecision. In fact, it’s usually a lack of commitment or resolve.
Here’s why it matters:
Whether with yourself or with a prospect, if you think the issue is indecision when it’s really the commitment or resolve, you’ll be addressing the wrong problem. Your efforts won’t land.
The Simple Tell: Questions About Logistics Reveal a Decision
Questions about logistics reveal that you’ve already decided you want it — whatever “it” is.
In any sales process, once someone starts asking questions about logistics — time, money, other resources involved, or “how it works,” — they’ve already decided they want it.
Think about this in the context of your experience.
Every day, you are bombarded with hundreds of ads and attempts to woo your attention, time, energy, and money.
The offerings presented to you can come in any form: a home, a new bag, a pair of shoes, a course, a retreat, a program or seminar, working with a coach, or anything else.
You don’t even notice most of them.
Of the ones you notice, when the offering isn’t for you, it’s a clear NO.
You don’t ask how much it costs or when it’s going to happen or how long it’s available or how it works. You don’t make pro and con lists about doing or buying it.
You don’t think about it at all.
Questions about logistics reveal that you’ve already decided you want it.
You just haven’t committed to it.
Commitment Requires Action Beyond the Decision
Commitment might look like putting it on your calendar or talking about it with someone. It’s a good step forward, but it’s not enough.
How often do you put something on your calendar only to back out because something else came up?
Every week, I see people who sign up for my yoga classes, then cancel at the last minute.
They committed, but they didn’t resolve.
Resolve is a One-Way Street
Resolve is a one-way street. When you resolve, you don’t turn back and you don’t back out.
Resolve requires taking an action that holds you to the commitment, or at least makes it very difficult or annoying to back out.
Resolve might be
- putting on a swimsuit before leaving the house
- making a non-refundable deposit
- booking a venue
- asking other people to show up in a place to support you
- enrolling in a class or co-working session, or
- anything else that will hold you to your commitment.
Having a workout on your calendar is a commitment. Scheduling yourself into a class where you can’t cancel is resolve.
Decisions Without Commitment Disempower You
Open decisions drain energy. But decisions without commitment and resolve are worse:
A decision unsupported by commitment and resolve also depletes confidence and self-esteem. It can lead to self-shaming and self-criticism that disempowers you from making decisions in the future.
What’s Stopping You From Committing?
If you’re making excuses or giving reasons about why you can’t do something, you’ve already decided you want to do it.
The only question is whether you’re going to commit to doing it.
If you are committed, how can you resolve?
And if you’re not committed: what’s stopping you?
Do You Need Support?
Need support in getting from indecision to resolve? I help my clients get out of decision paralysis, make aligned decisions, and follow them up with commitments and resolve. Connect with me to learn more.
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