The Final Act of Care

The Jewish tradition requires that the mourners, family, and community perform the burial after someone dies.

This is the final act of care we can perform for another human being. It’s something that nobody can do for themselves.

In Hebrew this act of service is called Chesed Shel Emet — a lovingkindness of truth.

To bury a person means to actually, physically, bury the person. Not simply stand by and watch as the cemetery workers do the heavy labor.

And so we did this today. After a funeral service for my grandma, on the eve of Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish year, we laid her body to rest.

I watched the men in my family lower her casket — a plain pine box, as per Jewish custom — into the earth. We said prayers. Each of us silently asked her for her forgiveness.

And then we shoveled the earth on top of the coffin.

Not just enough to cover it, but all the way. Until the earth that had been dug up was refilled into the grave.

It might seem like an odd ritual.

Some people might find it hard, both physically and emotionally — although really they are the same.

To me, it is one of the most meaningful rituals we can perform.

It can bring a profound sense of closure shovel the earth on top of the coffin. I felt like I was tucking in my grandma for her final rest, creating a space for her to lay at peace.