When it comes to starting a new project or taking action on a new idea, what’s your pattern?
For example, do you …
- Act immediately on your impulse and new idea, but lose interest and drop it just as quickly?
- Put the idea to the side for a while to see if it still holds your attention in a few weeks?
- Start researching, learning, and planning, but stay in planning mode without taking action?
- Take action immediately but then get stuck once you see the bigger reach of your idea?
Maybe its something else, or a combination of these. Perhaps it depends on the specific context.
It’s helpful to know your own patterns, and the pattern of how you initiate new things is particularly relevant to explore this week, as we herald a new season.
Spring Equinox
On March 19, 2024, the Equinox occurs at 11:20 PM ET, shortly after the Sun enters Aries at 11:06 pm ET. It marks the start Spring in the Northern Hemisphere, the start of Aries season and the Zodiacal new year.
In the cycle of the seasons, Spring is the season of new beginnings.
Aries is a sign known for its independence, drive, and initiative.
Moving into Spring invites us to look at our patterns of initiating and starting new things.
Like many women with ADHD I sometimes have a reputation among my family and friends for starting hobbies and projects but not seeing them through.
It’s a classic ADHD trope, but it’s not necessarily accurate or fair.
I have plenty of hobbies and projects that I’ve sustained for decades. Others do cycle in and out of favor — but that’s life. We are not necessarily meant to pursue one interest forever. Losing interest in a hobby or discipline isn’t a “problem” — it’s a natural part of growth and evolution.
That said, when it comes to starting new projects or taking action on new ideas, people I find a few places that are consistent sticking points for many women with ADHD.
3 Sticking Points ADHD Women Have With Initiating New Projects
(1) Trying to be an expert before you start
Our “culture of expertise” — the belief that we should be an expert in something before we teach it, or that we must learn about it first, can fuel this pattern.
Women tend to fall victim to this belief more than men. For example, studies show that women won’t apply for a job unless they believe they meet all criteria, whereas men will apply if they believe they meet any criteria.
Many of us who have ADHD have an ingrained feeling of inferiority from years of being told that we were doing things wrong. This can fuel the feeling that we need to learn as much as possible before beginning something — a way to compensate for our self-perception that we are deficient in some way.
The problem is that learning mode can be an escape from action.
Ironically, the best way to learn is by doing and teaching. You’ll never learn as much from a book as you will from your own experience.
We might also be trying to plan for every possible contingency, as a way to control the outcomes or at least know what’s going to happen. But the reality is that we cannot plan for every possible eventuality. We don’t have control over the future.
(2) Attachment to outcome
The more that is riding on the endeavor, the higher the bar. Expectations can be a big impediment to starting. Suddenly, you build a huge wall to what you want to do, because it takes on a new meaning. It becomes bigger than it needs to be.
Many of us with ADHD are blessed with extraordinary vision to see the potential of what something could be and how it can grow. I often see the seed of an idea and the bigger picture of what it can become. When I’m too focused on the bigger outcome of what it can become, I get stuck.
On the other hand, I’ve found that when I’m not attached to the outcome of a project, I feel free to play and experiment. Ironically, this creates a better outcome.
(3) Focusing on automation and scaling before you start
Year ago, I used to attend the NY Tech Meetup in New York City. Startup founders would present their new ideas and companies, and people from the audience would ask questions.
One of the rules governing questions was that you could not ask the founders how they planned to monetize the idea or scale it.
The best way to get stuck before you start is to worry about the long term plan.
Questions about scaling an idea or offering, or sustaining it over the long term, are premature until you have something viable.
Similarly, I’ve seen many entrepreneurs — including myself — get stuck by trying to find the right technology and tools for automation before they’re ready.
When I first started my real estate business, I created many templates for client intake that never truly worked for me. I ended up abandoning them. I used Excel, Numbers, or Google sheets to manage all the data about my clients and track my listings and buyers. The fancy CRM apps never worked for me.
You can launch a program using a Google doc and Gmail.
Starting smaller than you think you want to will allow you to see the systems that work for you before you waste time implementing solutions to problems that don’t exist.
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