I actually enjoy attending funerals.
I realize this sounds strange.
Many people I know go to funerals grudgingly. They look for excuses why they can’t go, they often complain how funerals disrupt their schedules.
There’s no way around it: we can’t plan death to come at an opportune moment, when it suits our schedule.
Why Funerals Are Difficult
It’s true that funerals can be difficult. As a culture, we generally are steeped in programming to avoid the topic of death. Funerals put death front and center.
They can bring up our fears not only of death itself, but also of what to say to the people grieving.
Funerals can also be energetically draining. It’s tough on the spirit to watch people in the suffering of their grief.
All this to say: there are many understandable reasons to avoid funerals.
Why I Enjoy Attending Funerals
To be clear, when I say I “like” funerals, I do not mean I’m excited by them. I don’t relish saying goodbye to people I love, or watching people be in pain over loss.
All things considered, I’d rather not spend my days at funeral and cemeteries. Like most people, I want to focus my attention on what feels good.
That said, death and grief are just as much a part of life as birth and joy — and attending a funeral can be one of the more meaningful experiences of life.
When I say I “like” funerals what I really mean is that unlike many people, I don’t grudgingly attend out of a sense of obligation or duty. I embrace the opportunity to attend a funeral.
In addition to feeling a sense of meaning and purpose in honoring the dead and comforting the mourners, the reason I enjoy attending funerals is that they offer a profound opportunity to reconnect with what matters most in life.
An Insight Into Values and Character
There is no greater testament to how a person lived, and the nature of their character, than the stories people tell about them through a eulogy.
There are few — if any — other events where people speak so openly and honestly about the impact a person had on their life.
Through the eulogies people deliver at a funeral, you can learn how the deceased lived their life. Eulogies provide an inside look at the character of the deceased, and the values they lived by.
But that’s not all.
A Glimpse Into the Human Soul
In a world filled with the noise of marketing messages trying to sell us on what we should desire, a funeral offers a clear signal of what we actually need to feel fulfilled and at peace.
A eulogy also provide insight into the values and needs of the person offering it.
The stories that a person chooses to share in their eulogy, the traits of the deceased that they choose to highlight, speaks to the values of the person offering the eulogy.
The sanctity of the funeral is one of the few places we can see people in their most authentic state.
Unlike remarks delivered at a happy occasion, a eulogy is generally offered in a moment of vulnerability created by grief.
What they choose to share in these moments is not the strategic masking we see online on a daily basis, but the reflections of a human soul.
When I listen to the eulogies, I learn from the lives of both the living and the deceased and reconnect with my most essential values.
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...