How do you know when you’re giving up and when you’re letting go?

How do you know when you’re giving up and when you’re letting go?

We’re headed to a full-moon-south-node eclipse in Scorpio this week this is clearly the theme of the week.

This week in my CrossFit classes we have been working toward our 1-Rep-Max lifts. On Monday, I was attempting the push press, which is an overhead barbell press. I managed to get a 60-pound barbell overhead, by far my heaviest lift.

I went for 65 pounds, but I couldn’t do it.

I tried again. No dice.

Over the loud music, I heard my coach yelling:

You gave up. You gave up before you had to struggle.

I thought I was struggling.

With my coach talking me through it, I tried again. Nothing.

Ahh. Next time.

But I wasn’t done.

I backed up.

I removed a 2.5 pound plate from each side of the bar and replaced it with a 1-pound plate, lowering the total from 65 to 62 pounds.

I was able to push press the 62-pound bar. Twice.

Riding the confidence from that win, I again tried 65 pounds.

This time, I got it.

The entire sequence reminded me of an episode that happened back in October with my weightlifting coach. He accused me of “giving up” on a heavy deadlift.

Yet just a couple of weeks ago, when I failed at a heavy lift after hitting a new personal record (PR), he didn’t accuse me of giving up. Instead, he encouraged me to let it go.

You’ll get it. We’ll get it. You did good today. You PR’d. That’s it. It’s done.

In other words: let it go.

All of this has left me wondering:

Where’s the line? Where do we cross over from “giving up” to “letting go”?

To be clear, this isn’t only about weightlifting. What happens in the gym is a metaphor for what happens in life.

More accurately, it’s a pattern.

The same issues show up in relationships, in business, in all of life.

How do you know when you’re giving up and when you’re letting go?

I’m still working through this, but for now where I come out is here:

Ultimately, you’re the only one who knows.

You know inside, by how it feels.

You know by your efforts.

You know by the little sensation in the pit of your stomach that tells you that you have more, or that you’re really done.

You know when you gave all you had, and when you just phoned it in.

Did you really do everything?

Maybe. And maybe you did everything you had the energy to do in that moment, but you know there’s more.

Then you have to figure out how to access that “more” that you know is there.

Sometimes we need to step back — to retrograde — to deload the bar, in order to get the heavier lift.