There’s one universal truth about life: Nobody gets out alive.
You are going to die.
Maybe not tomorrow or next week or in the next few years, but eventually your life will come to an end.
When it does, what will be your legacy? What will be your lasting mark?
Living For Your Obituary vs Living For Your Eulogy
It’s worth considering whether you’re living your life for your obituary or for your eulogy.
If you really want to know the legacy a person leaves behind, you must listen to the eulogies delivered about them at their funeral.
You won’t find their legacy in their obituary.
They are not the same thing.
Obituary: Outer Achievements
An obituary is a written announcement of a person’s death that often includes biography about their life. An obituary is often focused on external achievements and accomplishments. It may include a section on obstacles overcome on the way to a detailed account of the person’s great works and contributions to society.
Eulogy: Personal Impact
A eulogy a speech given at a person’s funeral by those who knew the person best or were closest to the person. People are often eulogized by family and closest friends. A eulogy is personal, and generally includes stories or anecdotes about the person.
An obituary tells you what a person did and accomplished. A eulogy tells you the impact that person had on the people in their life.
What I’ve Learned From Eulogies
I have attended funerals of people who have accomplished great things, who gave lots of money to charity and had their names on many buildings.
Those are the types of details that would be in their obituary. They are often what we think about when we think about “legacy.”
In the sacred space of a funeral service, in the grief-stricken words of a eulogy, those external achievements barely merited a mention.
Through eulogies I’ve learned much about the character and values of people who have made a difference where it mattered: with individual people in their lives.
A son spoke about a mother who would grab a mitt and a ball to play catch with her son after the big kids kicked him out of the game.
A daughter spoke about a father who got up in the middle of the night to drive a long distance to pick her up when she was having a bad experience at a friend’s house.
Grandchildren spoke about grandparents who showed up to their games or always asked about their friends.
A best friend spoke about the person who was always willing to listen without judgment.
People spoke about moments in their lives and experience that spoke volumes about the character and values of the deceased. The impact was obvious.
The Legacy that Matters Most
Regardless of how much status or money someone accumulated in their life, how many buildings bear their names, or how many best-sellers they wrote, the legacy they leave is more intimate and personal.
Buildings get torn down. Books become outdated. Innovations get supplanted by newer innovations.
“Impacting the world” is an amorphous vision.
Our most impactful legacy is how we touch the people in our lives and the way we make them feel.
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