Be a Candle, Not a Match

to be of service
cultivate the rituals
to sustain your fire

If you look at a Chanukah menorah (technically called a Chanukiah), you will see 9 candleholders, even though we light candles for only 8 nights.

That ninth candle holder is for the shamash, the “attendant” candle that we use to light the others. This is the service worker.

A flame from the shamash in theory could light hundreds of candles. This is the beauty of a flame: Fire loves to spread. It can give of itself without depletion.

You can use a match to light a candle, but it’s not the best tool if you’re lighting more than one candle. A match will burn out quickly. It has no substance to it. No wick to burn through, no wax to melt down.

So too with us. If we don’t have a solid framework of a wick and wax, we will burnout quickly.

You can periodically reignite your inner fire through a vacation or a spa day or a good workout. But how long do those effects last?

To create a solid structure that sustains your flame requires daily practice. Repeated reinforcement builds stronger threads that fuel your flame for longer.

That’s the purpose of rituals.

To share our light with others it’s not enough to “light ourselves.” We must also fortify ourselves with sustenance so that our flame is sustainable and we don’t burn out.

For me, creating and practicing rituals that help me attune to my needs and restore my inner harmony is an essential component of my self-care. Without my daily morning rituals of fitness and meditation, I have nothing to give to anyone else.

Rituals cannot just be occasional; they must be daily. Sustaining them is how I sustain my flame, which allows me to share my light with others without burning out.