Is there a better feeling than knowing you’ve made a positive impact in someone else’s life?
The feeling of helping people, of knowing I made a difference, has always driven me in my work. It’s what led me to become a lawyer, and then a real estate broker, and then a teacher and coach.
They seem so different on the surface but they are all just titles for the same underlying roles:
Advocate. Champion. Guide.
The more people I could help, the more full I would feel inside.
When I first volunteered to serve on the event crew for Tony Robbins events in 2011, the magnitude of service was intoxicating. To have a role in supporting thousands of people in their transformation was the ultimate high.
I went to the events with the specific intention to be filled up by the joy of serving and helping others so I could take that feeling back home with me.
Every person who volunteers to Crew is driven by the same desire. It’s a remarkable community of individuals dedicated to service, giving back not just in money but in time, focus, attention.
Service-First Mindset
Those of us who are wired this way often put service to others first in all parts of our lives — above even our own well-being.
We view self-care as the opposite of service — as something that detracts from service.
At some point I realized that this belief was misguided.
So I shifted my approach.
Rewiring Beliefs
I rewired my beliefs around self-care and service.
Old belief: Self-care is selfish.
New Belief: Self-care is the first step to service. You can’t give others what you don’t have.
I learned to fill myself up first.
Now I come to an event already full. And I do the work to stay that way. Without apologizing for it.
Because I prioritize my self-care, I have more to give others. I am more grounded, even amidst the chaos of what is happening around me. I can listen more attentively. I hold space for others better — whether it’s participants at a Tony Robbins event or my own clients.
And because I am giving from a place of fullness, I feel open to receiving what comes to me in return: the love and appreciation and reflections from people who witness me in my gifts.
That, in turn, fills me with even more to give back.
It’s a self-reinforcing cycle.
Service still fills me up, but it isn’t filling an emptiness. It’s expanding something that is already whole.
New belief: When I serve myself, I serve others. And when I serve others, I serve myself.
Revisiting the Question
Is there a better feeling than knowing you’ve made a positive impact in someone else’s life?
Yes.
Feeling that you served from a place of wholeness.
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