What’s Really Happening When You Feel Like You “Don’t Want To”

Sometimes, even if you have a high motivation to do something, even if you’re eager for the result of doing it, you have moments where you just can’t seem to push yourself to do it.

A part of you might even believe that you don’t want to do it.

It can be maddeningly frustrating, as well as a source of shame and guilt, to feel like you’re failing when you have a clear outcome and high motivation, yet still can’t seem to push yourself to take action.

There’s often a lot going on under the surface.

Your nervous system might be overloaded or even shut down. You might be exhausted and in need of rest.

Or, you might simply not have the right energy or bandwidth for the task.

Time, Energy, Bandwidth Are Not Like Money

We often speak of time, energy, and bandwidth as though they are fungible commodities, like like money.

Money is quantifiable and fungible. If something costs $10 you can buy it with cash, a credit card, or any other form of currency that equals $10.

Time is quantifiable, but all units of time are not of equal value. Some hours of your day have greater value than others, or are fit for different purposes.

If you doubt this, consider how you’d respond if someone asked you to show up to work at 3 am. You might protest that this is a time when you’re asleep. That’s not a time where you’re going to do quality work.

Energy and bandwidth in a human context are not quantifiable. They are qualitative metrics.

The type of energy and bandwith you need for a conversation will be different depending on who you’re speaking to and what you’re talking about. A casual conversation with a good friend requires less energy and bandwidth than a meeting with your boss.

Similarly, the quality of energy you need for creative work is different from the energy you need for logistical or planning work.

This explains why you might sometimes feel like you have no energy for writing an article or talking on the phone, yet you can absorb yourself for hours in editing a video.

Those tasks require different types of energy.

You’re Not Unmotivated

It’s important to recognize that the voice in your head telling you “I don’t want to” is not reflecting your true desires.

It’s a response to an overloaded or dysregulated nervous system, an energy mismatch, or emotional overload.

You’re not broken, lazy, or unmotivated.

You just don’t have the quality of energy you need for the task.

Give yourself a dose of self-compassion and switch to something else for the moment.