If there’s one certainty about holidays, it’s that they disrupt your schedule.
The month of holidays that begin with the Jewish New Year are like a marathon of holiday prep, synagogue services, and holiday dinners, which sometimes go late. By design, it disrupts your schedule.
And it comes at the time of the year when the days are growing shorter and the light is fading, which adds to the fatigue.
To regain a sense of balance and restore my rhythm, I gave myself permission for a slower morning.
A reasonable, adult decision from my wise self.
The only problem was that I had failed to inform my inner critic.
So as I moved slowly through my routine, I felt my inner tyrant wanting to lash out and berate me.
Even before I heard it, I felt the effects of the inner critic — the tightening of the chest, the heaviness in my shoulders, anxiety bubbling up, the mounting impatience with myself.
It’s that familiar feeling of being behind, of being “off-schedule,” of not living up to my standard, rooted in a belief that I can’t be productive if I’m not getting my day started immediately upon waking up or not getting to the gym by a certain time.
I was trying to keep it from unleashing on me. I know I’ll get less frustrated and be more productive if I can just accept what is instead of listening to the inner critic.
That said, it helps to see the source of the inner critic’s criticism.
The inner critic is implicitly weighing my timetable this morning against something else: my typical timetable, the standard I set for myself, or the perceived cultural standard of what is required for success.
Those are the counterweights on the balance scale.
Any judgment or shame I feel about my morning comes from my implicit acceptance of those standards as the correct standards of measurement that belong on the opposite side of the scale.
Those standards on the other side of the scale are like a lead weight that sends the plate to the bottom.
What Are You Implicitly Weighing Against?
When the weight on the other side is that heavy, we put ourselves in a no-win situation.
No matter how much I do, it won’t be enough to get the plate on my side of the scale to come even with the other side.
It’s a set-up for futility.
How often do you question what you’re measuring yourself against?
What if none of those standards are the relevant standard of measurement for today, or for this season, or ever?
The TL; DR
We are always weighing our current actions and efforts on the scale. The question is whether you’re aware of it as you do it.
When you’re in judgment from your inner critic because you’re “not measuring up,” notice what your inner critic is putting on the other side of the scale.
Consider whether you’re weighing your actions against the wrong standards.
Ask yourself whether this is a relevant standard. Even if it’s relevant in the bigger picture, is it helpful right now?
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