Are Your Boundaries Keeping You From What You Desire?

Despite my record of consistency in so many other areas of my life, my social media presence has been the epitome of inconsistency.

I tend to disappear for long stretches followed by a ramped up effort. It’s all-or-nothing. The middle way seems to elude me.

In the latest iteration of this pattern, I haven’t been on social media for over 7 months.

To be sure, there are good reasons for avoiding or minimizing social media.

Studies show social media use has a negative impact on our mental health.
The algorithms tend to keep us in an echo chamber.

That said, social media has its benefits: socially, it makes it easier to keep up with friends that you don’t see often. Professionally, it’s easier to find your tribe. And it offers the opportunity and possibility for feedback and interaction around your work.

It’s not like I’ve been off-the-grid. I publish a daily, public blog.

But as a person who thrives on connection and collaboration, writing in my own silo can be draining, and is a lot less fulfilling.

When Rules Get In the Way

So why have I been off social media for so long?

Quite simply, it was a function of my rules getting in the way.

To protect my energy and time, I have a series of rules. One of those rules is that I don’t get on social media before my blog writing and other important deep work is complete. Without this rule, I can get sucked into the social sphere and never extract myself.

I also have a rule that I don’t go online when I’m feeling low energy, because I know that social media generally makes that worse.

So I find myself in this situation where I desire connection and collaboration, but my rules get in the way of this, keeping me isolated and alone.

The Two Sides of Venus Conjunct Saturn

My predicament illustrates one of the two sides of the archetypal energy that manifest when Venus conjuncts Saturn, which we get three times this year thanks to Venus’ retrograde in Pisces while Saturn is wrapping up its transit through Pisces.

The first of their 3 meet-ups occurred back in January; the final two occur this month.

January 18 at 8:26 PM ET – 16º05’ Pisces
April 8 at 12:47 AM ET – 25º15’ Pisces
April 24 at 8:01 PM ET – 27º13’ Pisces

The final two conjunctions in April are essentially an extended period of Venus conjunct Saturn, as Venus is stationing direct in this aspect.

Venus’ retrograde period asks us to go deep and examine what we truly desire. As it stations direct in conjunction to Saturn, it invites a review of how we are committing to that desire — or what structures might be interfering.

Venus and Saturn Archetypal Energies

Venus is the planet of desire, relationships, connection, and collaboration. Saturn is the planet of limits, structure, boundaries, commitments, and rules.

When planets come together in a conjunction, it represents a blending of the archetypes.

As always, there are multiple ways this archetypal energy can manifest in your life.

The Constructive Side

In its supportive energy, Venus conjunct Saturn invites us to review our desires and commit to them.

Commitment is not just a declaration — although with Mercury also stationing in conjunction to Saturn, that declaration is certainly important. Commitment requires us to invest in the structures, systems, and support we need move toward what we desire.

In a personal relationship, for example, Venus conjunct Saturn may show you where you need more clarity around your boundaries to better manage your energy with your partner. Or it may reveal where you need better couple routines and systems to foster the intimacy you crave.

In your work, this side of Venus conjunct Saturn may reveal where you need better systems to keep you on track with creating the business or project you’ve committed to.

The Destructive Side

Nobody will rationally argue against the importance of boundaries in relationships or within ourselves. Without strong boundaries, we end up drifting all over the place.

On the other hand, the walls that protect you imprison you.

Venus conjunct Saturn can reveal where your rules are too rigid, and where you boundaries are keeping you closed off from connection and intimacy.

Illuminate First, Resolve Later

This week, Venus conjuncts Saturn as it’s ending its retrograde. It will station direct on the day of the full moon, which it rules. This is a prime time for illuminating which aspect of Venus/Saturn is impacting you.

Are you lacking the structures of commitment to pursue what you desire, or are your structures too rigid?

Whichever the case, there’s no need for an instant solution. Look for more clarity when the planets have their final meet up later this month.