What Are the “Post-Event Blues”?

My twin nieces spent a year preparing for their Bat Mitzvah: learning how to read the Torah, practicing the prayers that they would lead, and working on their speeches to deliver at the service.

The party also involved a year of planning to bring a vision into form.

Finally, the big day arrived. Their practice and preparation paid off. In the language of Gen-Alpha, they “slayed.”

All their work and anticipation came to fruition in a magical and memorable day and evening of family, friends, and fun.

It was the highest of highs.

And then, it was over. Done. Gone. In the past.

After all the months of planning and preparation, the Bat Mitzvah was suddenly a fading memory.

When we gathered for breakfast in the light of the next morning, we all felt a tinge of the inevitable “post-event blues.”

What Are the Post-Event Blues?

The Post-Event Blues are a mix of sadness and grief that often arise after the culmination of a big event.

Sometimes it’s referred to as a Post-Event Let Down, Post-Event Grief, or Post-Event Sadness.

This phenomenon isn’t unique to a Bat Mitzvah. You can experience it after any big event for which you’ve had substantial build-up: a wedding, product launch, big presentation, completion of a big work project, a holiday gathering, and even a long-planned vacation.

The basic situation that leads to Post-Event Blues is this:

You spend months preparing, planning, and working towards an outcome. It culminates in a big moment, you celebrate with lots of fanfare, and then it’s over.

Where, just the day before, there had been excitement and anticipation, suddenly, there’s an emptiness, both literally and metaphorically.

• Family and friends who had gathered for your big day disperse and head back to their lives.
• The thing that had been your focal point for months is no longer there.
• The blocks of time you had been setting aside to practice and prepare are now empty.
• There is no more anticipation of what might happen.
• The adrenaline rush of racing toward the finish line fades away, and fatigue arises in its place.

A Physical Effect

This isn’t just a mindset or psychological phenomenon; it’s also biological.

When we are caught up in the planning of an event, our system is flooded with hormones. Some of those are stress hormones, which can help us focus. Others are endorphins — a feel good hormone that results in a “high” feeling.

Once we are in the reality of the moment, endorphons stop surging through our bodies. As the high wears off, we feel the let-down. It may express itself through us as sadness, anger, grief, or fatigue.

In our rush to move on to the next thing after prolonged, sustained focus on a singular event, we often don’t take time to sit in the stillness, emptiness, and greif that can arise arise in its stead.

The next time you experience a twinge of sadness after reaching a big milestone, you’ll know what to call it.