Sometimes you have to mix it up.
Over the past decade, I have carefully cultivated and calibrated my morning routines and rituals to set myself up to do my best work.
I am a stickler for my routines.
Sometimes, perhaps, too much of a stickler.
Life brings twists and turns, and getting off-track is inevitable. For a long time, I would beat myself up if I fell “off-track.” I would use self-criticism as a way to shame myself to get back on track, to honor my vow of consistency.
Over time, I learned that this strategy does not help. All it did was make me feel like a prisoner of the rules I had created for myself.
Self-compassion is a much more effective tool to motivate and encourage the actions we want to take.
On one hand, my rules were meant to serve me by protecting me from the lure of distractions.
But what protects us can imprison us.
Sometimes we need to adapt the rules, or break them completely. Different seasons of life call for different rhythms and changes in routine.
What’s Behind the Self-Criticism?
It’s great to know this, but implementing it can be challenging. In order to truly embrace self-compassion, and release self-criticism we need to understand what’s behind the self-criticism.
Beneath all self-criticism is fear. My fear is that if I disrupt the steadiness of my routines, everything else will fall apart: I won’t get my workouts in. I won’t be able to do quality work. And on and on.
Reliable vs Rigid
My tendency towards self-criticism when I “fall off-track” is characteristic of my nature as a person who was born in Taurus season.
Taurus is a sign that likes consistency. It’s steady, dependable, reliable. This sign anchors the spring season.
Taurus is a fixed earth sign. The fixed signs, in general, don’t like change. But Taurus, as an earth sign, is even more resistant to it.
Think about nature: What happens when you disrupt earth?
You get earthquakes, mudslides, avalanches.
It’s the nature of Taurus to stay consistent and reliable, to be the unmoving ground that supports other people.
On the other hand, when we are too fixed, too attached to the rules, we can become rigid. This is the risk for all fixed signs.
An Invitation to Experiment
This past weekend’s Jupiter/Uranus conjunction in Taurus was an invitation to disrupt the status quo in the places in our lives that are most stable and dependable.
If that feels too daunting or esoteric for you to embrace, the calendar brings another reason to embrace change.
On the heels of this conjunction comes Passover, the Jewish holiday that literally demands a change in routine.
Passover is all about doing things differently, to remind ourselves that we are no longer slaves in Egypt.
The difference between a free person and a slave is that the free person controls their time.
Liberate Yourself From Your Routines
Although we may no longer be slaves in Egypt, sometimes we can becomes slaves to our own rules and routines.
True freedom begins in the mind, with how we frame or interpret events that happen.
Passover offers a week-long opportunity for a controlled experiment in breaking from the normal structure of our routines and rituals without attaching criticism or shame to the idea that we have “fallen off-track.”
Reminding myself that this break from my norm is “just how it is right now” and, in fact, how it is intended to be, brings me a sense of inner liberation.
This is a tool I’ve used to learn not just on Passover, but at other points during the year when I may need to call on this reframe.
Consistency doesn’t need to mean rigidity.
In fact, allowing flexibility in the structures of routines helps us maintain resilience in the face of life events that can disrupt the status quo.
I’ve learned that this adaptability promotes consistency, and makes me more reliable and grounded.
When you’re less worried about things falling apart, you have greater capacity to be present with what is here.
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