Today is the Independence Day in the United States. It’s the day we celebrate the birth of America. Although “independence” and “freedom” are not the same, it’s a day that we associate with freedom.
But what, exactly, gives us freedom?
People equate freedom with different things. For some, it’s having a lot of money. For others, it’s the ability to control their schedule. For a young child, freedom might mean doing whatever they want. For someone with physical limitations, freedom might be the ability to move their body without feeling restricted.
And yet many of the things we believe will give us freedom don’t, in fact, pan out that way. Many people amass financial wealth only to become paralyzed by the fear losing it — known as the “golden handcuffs.”
The paradox of choice that comes with having unencumbered control over what to do and when to do it can be paralyzing.
The Limits of “Freedom” As We Often Define It
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with having goals and desires. It can be helpful to step back and look at life to see what we desire, and to have goals to aim for.
But the utility of this has limits.
If you live in fear of losing what you have, or having it taken from you, are you free?
How free do you feel when you live your life trying to control events, circumstances, and other people?
When we want things to be different from how they are to the point that we cannot be in the moment or embrace life as it is right now, we become prisoners of our desires.
When we expect or desire other people to be different from how they are, we not only become prisoners of our own expectations. We also deny those people the freedom to be who they are.
And when we expect situations to be different from how they are, we become prisoners of our expectations. We become unable to appreciate life as it is.
What we think will give us freedom is often a recipe for suffering.
Where to Find Freedom and Independence
Money and material goods may rise and fall in value. You may acquire it and lose it. At various points in life you have more or less control over your schedule and decisions.
And almost never do we have control over other people.
True freedom ultimately lies in the mind.
This is the only place we can acquire freedom that nobody can take from us.
When we can embrace life as it is, and people as they are; when we can allow things to unfold; when we can accept what is happening without wanting it to be different, then we have freedom.
We have the freedom to learn from what is happening.
We have the freedom to embrace others for who they are.
We give others the freedom to be who they are.
We have the freedom to embrace the moment for what it is. And to embrace the moment is to embrace life.
The same goes for how we see ourselves. When we learn to let go of the expectations we have of ourselves, we can come to know ourselves as we are.
And when we feel the freedom to be who we are, we have found our independence.
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