let yourself be lost
be ok with not knowing
this is the journey
Over the last several years I’ve been working diligently to create a life I had envisioned — a life I thought I wanted. Location-independent. Digital nomad. Running my business from anywhere and everywhere. Total freedom.
I was journeying in pursuit of a specific destination that I thought I wanted, only to now realize maybe I don’t want that life. Maybe I never did.
Of course, we are always free to begin again. It’s not the first time reinvention beckons.
But this time feels different.
Standing at the threshold of a new chapter, I realize I am at a crossroads without a map.
No longer sure of what I want or which direction to head.
I feel lost.
Some days, I wonder what has been the point of my journey so far. Was it a waste of time and effort? A misguided fool’s errand?
It’s easy to feel this way in a culture that worships striving. When we lack direction we might feel like we have done something wrong.
But what if you’re in exactly the right place? What if feeling lost is a clue to your direction?
I came across this poem by the great American writer Wendell Berry.
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
Wendell Berry
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
After reading this, I considered that perhaps I only thought I was headed toward a destination when I was really traveling to the starting line.
Perhaps I had to journey to this place in order to begin for real.
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